Summer died
that night* our turning point
the harvest moon on cue
a watershed of rain
walls all awash
colours running down
bleed into the street
beneath disjointed feet
cut to the kiss me quick
my hat pulled over dead eyes
fatally farewelled
whilst he made haste
made love the end of it
fast foot-stepping puddles
as if to put the past
as far behind as summer
With thanks to Dylan (Hughes not Bob) for the First Line Friday * prompt as I pop into the pantry at Poets United
Stunning imagery
thanks Jaerose – the visuals erupted in staccato fashion – unplanned!
It creates a wonderful effect, seeming to illustrate the helter-skelter emotions too.
I love the difference on those who see the end and those who see a new beginning… thus is the pain of parting.
partings come naturally at the turn of the season or so it seemed
So impactful, “fatally farewelled”, while he hop-skipped away. I have lived this post. In my case, he did me a favour by leaving, as he was a great pretender.
glad you picked up on that – a touch Dylanesque (not Bob – Thomas) – in creating verbs!
Sounds like you are well rid though even that hurts
Luv the blend of farewell and rain. No tears just fast stepping puddles of goodbye
Happy Sunday
Much🍾💛love
thanks Gillena – was not a very happy poem for this day but someone is always left crying
Those colours that bleed into the street… beautiful imagery.
many thanks Viv –
As usual, love the words but the image not just fits but is great by itself as well.
thanks for noticing Kiki – am thinking of posting a page of photoart or even a portfolio!!
Looking forward to that!
So sad. But glad you let him go.
by your comment I can see the anomaly and have changed from you to he – that is why feedback is so welcome. Thank you
oh those closing lines are heartbreaking!
glad you felt it – thank you!
The imagery is so well done — it creates that solemn environment when nothing else can be done to salvage it. The closing lines work perfectly in this scenario. Colours bleeding into the street is so potent in its suggestion.
-HA
your ‘solemn environment’ is so succinct – thanks HA
Any parting usually leaves one of you in pain no matter how it is handled. Regardless of the actual weather it feels like rain when it happens.as you leave each other heads down one or both crying. Been there…done that!
most of us have stood in such rains – often without an umbrella 😉
The pace of this poem is stunning – it’s like one of those short films where scenery flicks past the camera! I love the:
‘…watershed of rain
walls all awash
colours running down
bleed into the street’
and the wonderful wordplay in the lines:
‘cut to the kiss me quick
my hat pulled over dead eyes
fatally farewelled’.
I like that flickering screen image Kim – surprised myself with the stacatto pace
“colours running down bleed into the street” is such a poignant image 💜
personification of pain in paint! – thanks Sanaa
This is excellent. I loved the imagery & the way you told the tale of the end of love. And indeed, no singing in the rain at those times.
‘Like tears in rain’ as Roy Batty says! Thank you Mary