depictions by the rule of thirds; descriptions mostly freestyle words
A candle salve for sorrows
intense ashen shadows of
occult observance
lukewarm toys
lilac musk
I have threaded pearls from tissue
pale and pink, beaded drops of
coughing slime
mopped oceans
stigmata cups
Powder-white, this Yiddish clown
with painted mirth, mouths
sanguine sonnets
fetish as fable
clockworked metre
There’s only a soft dim accuracy
poems parch and sounds scuttle from
undipped nibs
tardy thought trails
chequered lexicons
In undertones physicians intone
they say the sputtering candle is
solitude’s wish
stellar fortunes
angels standing-by
Epilogue:
My leavings all a fevered paper cache
red inked, crushed and bruised. I’m hoist from
an unsung grave
backlogged and bound
about face to readers.
Notes: Samuel B. Greenberg (1893-1917) – Jewish poet & painter – unpublished in his lifetime, dead from tuberculosis by the age of 23, plagiarised by Hart Crane, left more than six hundred scribbled writings. See Poems from the Greenberg Manuscripts: Ed James Laughlin First Published 1939 New edition with additional poems edited by Garrett Caples 2019
My poetry prompt was to select FIVE from the 'duologue phrases' of Greenberg's 'The pale Impromptu' - I chose candle salve; pearls from tissue; painted mirth; dim accuracy; solitude's wish; for Poetics: The charms of Samuel Greenberg
I love how you used his own words to write his biography/eulogy … the phrase lukewarm toys especially caught my eye.
LikeLike
so glad you chose that as it reflects how young this dead poet was
LikeLiked by 1 person
The opening line/image is so arresting, Laura 💝 I love the poignancy with which this poem is penned!
LikeLike
thank you – I wanted to give Greenberg a sympathetic bio as well
LikeLike
Marvellous piece Laura. The tension in these charmed pairings – it feels like the language is being pulled and stretched – ‘mopped oceans / stigmata cups’ – ‘fetish as fable’ – nothing is certain but that it will be undermined – and then every so often there’s a beauty I can hang on to – ‘I have threaded pearls from tissue’. As Björn says, a fine elegy to this poet.
LikeLike
spot on Peter! – I feel it’s the tension between Greenberg’s ‘charms’ that gives impact to the conversational pairing. Something i tried to emulate so thank you for that
LikeLike
This is a stunning piece, Laura! I like the reference to Greenberg’s TB in the lines:
‘I have threaded pearls from tissue
pale and pink, beaded drops of
coughing slime’
and the ‘fevered paper cache / red inked, crushed and bruised’,
as well as the lines about writing:
‘poems parch and sounds scuttle from
undipped nibs
tardy thought trails
chequered lexicons’.
LikeLike
well observed Kim – yes I tried to resurrect the poet with his illness and struggle to pen poems which the clock was ticking
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked the poignancy of the blood-smeared tissue, that produced such pearls. And the assonance, alliteration, dissonance making a chain of sounds.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you Jane – I loved your observation about the chain of sounds
LikeLike
The image of the chain is a strong one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Skillful telling of this young man’s dying and death. These lines jumped out with sorrow:
“poems parch and sounds scuttle from
undipped nibs”
LikeLike
many thanks for that lovely comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Laura.
LikeLike
Beautiful and intricate, picking up on the themes of that which inspired you.
LikeLike
yes I was inspired by Greenberg, Francis – glad it shows!
LikeLiked by 1 person
WOW. Such poignant and beautifully startling imagery in this piece. I especially loved these lines:
“A candle salve for sorrows
intense ashen shadows of
occult observance
lukewarm toys
lilac musk”
So dark and sad, and it’s like a threnody. Beautiful work!
LikeLike
I really enjoyed your comment Lucy especially once I had looked up ‘threnody 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
incredibly masterful to weave the poets own words to paint his brief life all so poignantly … really appreciated your added charms and I’m sure he would too!
LikeLike
many thanks for some lovely feedback Kate
LikeLike
most welcome Laura
LikeLike
Very impressive, and a perfect illustration for your prompt. I took the cue from you and endeavored to emulate Greenberg’s spirit and style. In many ways, I’m happy to see that our research and conclusions were similar. I strongly felt a connection to Greenberg as I wrote my five charm stanzas. Your poem has the line breaks and surreal qualities from Greenberg, yet your own perceptions were never compromised; lovely and striking.
LikeLike
Blushing from such a supportive uplifting comment Glenn ❤
LikeLike
kaykuala
they say the sputtering candle is
solitude’s wish stellar fortunes
angels standing-by
Love the idea of detailing some trying moments prior to success while under constant divine protection. Great storyline Laura!
Hank
LikeLike
indeed and thank you Hank
LikeLike
Very clever Laura. I love that you brought Greenberg into your poem. I love his rich use of language which made this such a wonderful prompt tonight. ☺️
LikeLike
glad you enjoyed the prompt and I appreciate your appreciation!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You captured the form of Greenberg very well. Your images are wonderful…
scuttle from undipped nibs
In undertones physicians intone
they say the sputtering candle is
solitude’s wish
stellar fortunes
angels standing-by
Wow! Seems that is what is said so often at the end of life
LikeLike
thank you Dwight – aimed to emulate, be inspired and find my own voice here
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the way you’ve captured Greenberg’s style and made it your own: captivating!
LikeLike
many thanks Ingrid
LikeLiked by 1 person
“solitude’s wish
stellar fortunes
angels standing-by”–a world in those three lines. So much richness in the imagery. (K)
LikeLike
thank you – the dialogue between two words can conjure citadels!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So good Laura 🙂 My favourite part
“poems parch and sounds scuttle from
undipped nibs
tardy thought trails
chequered lexicons”
LikeLike
ahh thanks for reading and appreciating too
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome Laura 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person