Mummy

Published on by Laura Bloomsbury

I do not wish you back again.
I do not want them back again
Those long-lost years re-trod again
That final freakish twilight span
An absence even you mislaid. All gone

For good. And good it is
For I’d not wish return to where
Your face blanked out with who and where.
Your nowhere face, the care and wear
Transferred to caring visitor.

Just ‘how’ is what I’m asking here
To take you back down all the years
And what if fate had not served up
A severance like afterbirth. A giving up
On motherhood, the letting go of four
Small hands, four empty shoes, four
Bright blue eyes the same as you
And bonds like tendons
Torn and soft. And almost new.

Blown apart like thistledown
In separate spaces, up and down
All countrywide. We met across a great divide
Our ships would pass and then collide
But always courteous and kind. And all at sea
A cruel sea, where making waves was strictly banned
Like hugs and kisses, hands in hand.

And mummy just some bandaged bones, I learned at school.
A ghost, entombed.

For my dVerse Meeting the Bar prompt of poetry craft and critique, 'to turn again, about turn again' we are employing the device of 'epiphora/epistrophe' which makes use of consecutive end line repeats of words or phrases.  The optional extra is 'Symploce' - a consecutive repeat of first and final words. 
Since 'epiphora' is also a medical term for excess tear production, I have given the poem a sad theme.

45 thoughts on “Mummy”

  1. Your poetry really never disappoints, I love how you made it into something so much more than the use of repetition, each stanza telling its own part of a mother-daughter relationship… I found especially this part poignant

    For I’d not wish return to where
    Your face blanked out with who and where.
    Your nowhere face, the care and wear
    Transferred to caring visitor.

    really touched me.

  3. A powerful, moving poem, Laura.
    These lines:
    “For I’d not wish return to where
    Your face blanked out with who and where.
    Your nowhere face, the care and wear
    Transferred to caring visitor.”

  4. The “severance like afterbirth” is nuclear-powered. How she could turn away those small hands, feet, and eyes is a mystery that will never be solved but will always be wondered about. Laura, if this is based on a true story, my heart goes out to those little people.

  6. Superb wordsmithing Laura. The theme evokes a sad ghostly nostalgia for me. The pening lines set the tone and repetition is not dull at all, always showcasing a deeper emotion. Thanks so much for the writing challenge.

  7. This was stunning, especially that closer: “And mummy just some bandaged bones, I learned at school.
    A ghost, entombed.” What a BANG to end off with there. Wow.

    I feel the sense of grief and poignancy entwined throughout your verse. Almost like abandonment of the narrator, or perhaps a disconnect–something that impacted them so much, they can’t see this person again. It’s beautifully written.

  8. I love your no going back poem. The repetition varied in several word makes the poem flow really well. The idea of times afterbirth is spectacular!
    Dwight

  9. I feel the complexity of the relationship in your verses, an emotional ride! “the letting go of four
    Small hands, four empty shoes, four Bright blue eyes the same as you” is so powerful! 💝

  10. Powerful, sad, dark, angry, reflective, regretful, determined, beautiful — all of these came to mind as I read your excellent piece here Laura. Well written.

  11. Powerful, painful, poignant. I felt the gravity it every line, and was truly reeling in places.
    I read it twice, to take it in.

    Thank you for hosting, this prompt has brought out some astonishing poetry.

    1. apologies on behalf of the spam catcher – how it could mistake such very nice feedback shows its innate lack of intelligence – and thank you for participating with the prompt

  12. almost left me with tears. captured the heaviness and anger by eloquent “showing” instead of telling, Ms. Laura. the repetition worked as reinforcements to emphasize. these lines are heartrending:

    For I’d not wish return to where
    Your face blanked out with who and where.
    Your nowhere face, the care and wear
    Transferred to caring visitor.

  14. So powerfully and beautifully written. The repetitions you have employed help to reinforce the tale of a heartache which lasts a lifetime. Such delicate similies, with the line breaks just in the right place:

    ‘Blown apart like thistledown
    In separate spaces, up and down
    All countrywide.’

  16. I read your poem three times … each with my mouth open, feeling the emotion of every line. Not certain I could ever have reached the depth. What a write!!!!

  17. wow, well written, i enjoyed this very much, lot’s of great lines but this one really grabbed me “A cruel sea, where making waves was strictly banned”

  18. Laura,
    All the imagery rings so true, evocative of a suffering that made little sense yet persisted, though “wrapped up” and “entombed.” Beautifully done.
    ~🕊Dora

  20. The last week of my mother’s life was like that. Strangely she recognised my husband, and asked about ‘his wife’ while admiring my pink uniform.

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