Five answers to Neruda

Who shouted with glee when the colour blue was born?
Quiénes gritaron de alegría cuando nació el color azul?

~ Pablo Neruda from “The book of questions”

born blue?
water babies
hesitant to exchange 
cry in the gasping air a while
then laugh

then laugh
merry bellied
like painters in cobalt
drenching skies once barely coated

entombed heaven
when angels dropped to earth
now men retrieve these holy spoils
with glee

with glee
then why cry blues?
through indigo we slip
to black but seeing midnight stars
sing low

sing low
the dead poet
his mother tongue of odes
mystery bathed and surely once
born blue

For my MTB: Critique and Craft prompt “Crowning Crapsey” a crown cinquain on this 5th of the fifth which employs 5 stanzas of 5 lines of 2;3;6;8;2 syllables with a repeat last to first line

40 thoughts on “Five answers to Neruda

    1. YES! that is what I first thought of but knew an attempt at Steven’s responses was too big a leap of imagination for me – especially as am feeling very stuck with the Muse perhaps because I’m currently doing a lot of gardening tasks!

  1. I agree with both Björn and Helen–it did remind me a bit of 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird, and it is worthy of reading over a few times. I love the questioning. Also, I have to say I love the word lapis.

  2. All those blues – I like the way this poem circles round. I thought the crown was beyond me, but seeing it work so well here makes me wonder?

  3. I never thought I’d thank someone for giving me the blues, but you’ve done it so beautifully here, Laura, I can only bow before thee. Salute. And thanks for the cool prompt!

    1. I do relish the blues Ron – being naturally a bit of a melancholic but also the hues are sumptuous. Thank you for your generous comment and for appreciating the prompt

  4. The pertinence and classicism of this verse reminds me of what I read, …which civilisation was it …I cannot remember, but will check, simply did not have a word for the colour blue, and as such failed to see it…

  5. Beautiful Laura! Classically rich imagery that knits together seamlessly. Great breadth of scale in this piece, from a bathed birth to the heavens above. So well written my friend!

  6. Stunning hues of blues in your cinquain chain! Thanks, Laura, for interesting challenge…you set the bar high with this one.

  7. I so enjoyed the myriad of blues that rippled throughout this poem, Laura. You also used the prompt word “cobalt” for yesterday’s ragtag prompt, I see (though it seems in advance!). Thank you for introducing me to this form 🙂

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