Mooching besides my footsteps here
elusive leitmotif. Born blue
but rusticating happily in exile
still we speak in whispered messages

Detached
from this bed I'm taking flight
with an amnesty
against your absence
time to beat the streets
where the sparse grasses 
in their hundreds 
still bow down
too numerous to name

Just checking
at the unhinged door
that I've been
  - silent-
running for the shore 
on to ever after
- we always are 

61 thoughts on “Fall finale”

1. I love what you found here. There is an element of a hallucinatory nightmare, especially in that second stanza. It was a good exercise

   1. found a touch of the surreal dreamworld – thank you Bjorn

2. This is gorgeously rendered, Laura! I love how the poem lures the reader in instantaneously 💜💜

   1. that’s so good to hear – thanks Sanaa

      1. You’re most welcome 🥰

3. “at the unhinged door” – Love where this can bring you. I agree, this was a very good writing process.

   1. many thanks Grace – I found a certain freedom in these finds

4. Laura, yours makes sense in its own way.

   1. abstracting an abstract that still made sense was half the fun/challenge eh Lisa?!

      1. Yes! I tried! You succeeded!

         1. we all seemed to have done 😉

5. our second staza is so good and could stand alone as a poem in its own right.

   1. Your , not our!! Typo!

      1. ha ha – not a joint effort but maybe in the future?

         1. Why not?! 🙂

            1. its an idea!

   2. thank you – it would be interesting to continue that stanza or even write a shadow poem to it

6. This is “found poetry” at its best. Separating the lines into short lines works well for the sense of the poem here. Well done!

   1. thank you Lillian – one time when enjambement really helps plus it mirrors the title like falling leaves 😉

7. Love the happily whispering y exiles, whispering (& everything else, too)

   1. in hushed tones I thank you Ron

8. Love how you structured the lines from your poetry ~~ a lovely flow, a lovely poem.

   1. that was half the challenge – getting some flow so thank you for that Helen

9. I really enjoyed the “mooching” way this began then continued with its inherent essence of journey. Love the line “born blue but rusticating.” 🙂

   1. I see what you mean – the journeying is almost subliminal – nice observation Sunra

      1. You’re welcome 🙂

10. Nicely done. You could have titled this one Free Bird. I liked the line “detached from this bed I am taking flight.”

    1. nice suggestion Dwight but these are all last lines from autumn!

       1. :>)

       2. :>) I guess the birds have all flown!

          1. spot on – though we have some winter migrants now!

11. The ever after endures, enjoyed this journey! 💓

    1. we trust to that- thank you Tricia

       1. 🌸💐🌸

12. exiled whispers, life brazenly grabbed, challenged… it’s a fierce poem!

    1. thanks Margaret for such unique and pithy feedback

13. This is very well put together. It stands alone magnificently.

    1. that’s very encouraging – not easy to make a composite sound whole

14. This definitely works as a poem. I agree with the comment that the second stanza works as a poem by itself. The first and third are almost like dream images tying the poem together.

    1. I like the notion of the dreamy astride the middle especially with the bed theme

       1. Yes, exactly! 🙂

15. Because your poetry is so beautiful, your end-line poem (for want of a better name) stands on its own so well! Not at all abstract, if I may say so.
    This was a wonderful exercise and has taught me to make sure, in future, that my last line can stand on its own. 🙂

    1. thank you for such high praise and for your own worthy contribution to the prompt

       It was reading about the last line in poetry which got me started on setting this prompt – you might like to read this

       1. You are welcome and thank you!

          Thanks for sharing the link. I will go through it during the weekend. 🙂

16. I love the way this captures the human condition…all those unhinged doors. (K)

    1. ha-ha – I like that!

17. Well crafted. Nice one Laura.
    Happy you dropped by to read mine.

    Much💜love

    1. thank you Gillena and for joining in with the prompt

18. So impressive, Laura, that’s all I can say. 🙂

    1. and thank you too for those unspoken impressions

19. What a gorgeous flow and perfect example for your most interesting prompt. So dreamy and surreal. The last line “-we always are” is powerful in it’s brevity,

    1. many thanks Mish – needed a good last line for this prompt!

20. Hauntingly smooth flow, Laura, so beautifully rendered.

    1. thank you Dora

21. I’m still captivated by the method, this works fabulously.

    1. thank you – and there’s more to come in the New Year 🙂

       1. Wonderful 🙂

22. “rusticating happily in exile” Just one of many excellent lines in this poem, Laura. This was a super
    prompt!

    1. thank you for your enthusiasm – more of these to follow 😉

23. love the sound in this, well done.

    1. sound is always what I’m after so thank you for listening Phillip

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