it's always the same -
taking the train to somewhere
case stowed there, sitting close by
I settle into porterage

and gauge momentum 
by departing drum of carriage wheels.
Or do the stations merely peel away?
convey a landscape lantern show

beyond the grimy window. A whirl
of scenic blur and all volition's swept 
to rest beneath my feet. Accepting fate
as nameplate on this validated spot
 
a dot in such momentous time. Seconds circle
yet spectacle of sun is keeping track 
takes back the shine from field and town
slips down, permitting sky

to soon let fly with painter's hands 
and force us all to watch

39 thoughts on “To watch”

1. It is often such I feel that once we have settled in a train we can only sit and watch… Love the thoughts you conveyed

   1. I take frequent train journeys and invariably feel transported ‘out of time’

2. This is absolutely stunning, Laura! I love the intricate details here especially; “A whirl of scenic blur and all volition’s swept to rest beneath my feet.” ❤️❤️

   1. many thanks Sanaa – a time for surrendering control!

      1. You’re most welcome 🥰🥰

3. This is a poem I relate to, Laura! I particularly love the lines:
   ‘Or do the stations merely peel away?
   convey a landscape lantern show
   beyond the grimy window’
   and
   ‘…Seconds circle
   yet spectacle of sun is keeping track
   takes back the shine from field and town’.

   1. thank you Kim this was partly based on a recent return from London when the sun was setting –

4. I felt as I read this that the momentum picked up–as in a train ride. Magical, Laura! A train ride is definitely a transitional time.
   I liked the “landscape lantern show,” and the feeling that we must just give in to it, “A whirl of scenic blue and all volition’s swept to rest beneath my feet.”

   1. I ike your observation about the momentum Merril as I had not noticed or designed the poem that way but yet that is how it should be! And thank you for this inspirational challenge

      1. You’re so very welcome, Laura! I didn’t think it was planned, but I felt it. 😊

5. i do enjoy long train journeys. a long train ride across America Atlantic to Pacific is on my bucket list.
   the momentum always helps me relax.
   really enjoyed reading this

   1. thank you for journeying along here

6. I love train rides and observing the view from the window as well as the passengers. I can relate to the scene of departing and arriving. Time can be very slow but how lovely to reveal the final lines of the sky to soon fly with painter’s hands.

   1. I’ve seen sunsets across the miles from train windows

7. How wonderfully you paint the motionless move! A joy to read, Laura. xo

   1. thank you Marina – you’re an artist who understands the painting of words

8. “A whirl
   of scenic blur and all volition’s swept
   to rest beneath my feet. Accepting fate
   as nameplate on this validated spot

   a dot in such momentous time.”

   My favorite lines. I feel this sums up life quite succinctly.❤️

   1. even the literal writes itself as metaphor sometimes 😉

9. The lulling into fate is so richly drawn here, a transforming poem.

   1. thank you Brendan for being transformed – journeys feel fatalistic and that is half the buzz

10. I enjoyed all the internal rhyme.

    1. special thanks for noticing as I worked much on that

11. The inside of a moving train is like a parallel world, as you’ve captured so beautifully. (K)

    1. its the parallel lines they travel on 😉 many thanks K

12. Very eloquently written, Laura. I like the concept of the sun taking back the shine and the painter forcing us to watch as it disappears over the horizon.

    1. I appreciate your appreciation Dwight

       1. You are very welcome.

13. Oh Laura, this is beautiful. Threads weaving themselves into a painter’s hands. But then you’re no stranger to beauty. Appreciate so much you do and say. We should all listen more to each other, all those wonderful ordinary moments. Life is a gift.

    1. your feedback always so welcome Neil – thanks to the blogosphere we all get to hear each other

14. Beautiful! I felt myself settling in for the ride surrendering to the momentum, the blurs of scenery and analysis of time. The imagery you painted of the setting sun was stunning.

    1. thank you for such encouraging words Mish

15. I have always imagined a trip through towns and forests on a train and one thing that would be amazing is to take a trip like that then take the same trip in ten years to see how things have changed.

    1. Interesting thought

16. Reading this poem is a journey in itself. “Accepting fate
    as nameplate on this validated spot”. I could deeply resonate with this line. 😄

    1. What very nice feedback – thank you for journeying along

17. I love the idea of stations ‘peeling away’.

    1. the train pulls away – or do the stations peel away – a nice existential conundrum – thank you!

18. I love riding on a train! We recently rode the train from Bergen Norway, to Oslo….up into mountains. Amazing to watch the scenery roll by. I love the part about the sun slipping away and the sky letting fly with painter’s hands!

    1. Train lines are made for poetry !

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