Exotic
With every nightfall
The murmur of surf from your soft breath
Sensual
From fingertips to mouth
The way rivers run slow to the sea
Dynamic
In a sudden cloud burst
The scent of summer storms on your skin
Magical
How your voice arouses
And the wind lifts a whirl of spent leaves
For my MTB prompt “A Lover as Second Nature” we are writing in the unryhmed poetry style of Karan Naidu’s Parallelogram de Crystalline of four tercets with 3,6,9 syllabic count. Its set theme is of a lover described with reference to nature,
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A perfect example of how it’s done, Laura! I especially love the ‘murmur of surf from your soft breath’ and the ‘scent of summer storms on your skin’.
thank you Kim – I struggled to avoid the simile which tended to spoil the poem
Oh yes, this is how it should be done, all those perfect comparisons to the scenery of nature… love them all.
very encouraging Bjorn – many thanks
The slow build up is another feature when verse is so scribed, sensual, flirty, more powerful by each stanza, to the core, the voice…great poetry.
many thanks Ain for feeling your way through the stanzas
I’m missing your poetry – are you not on substack anymore?
I really like the dramatic pause after the first line, and then the rhythm quickening. Indeed a love to treasure. (K)
thank you Kerfe _ that syllabic count is the root of the rhythm and it works well
I liked how you started each stanza with a three-syllable adjective.
it works better than a noun I felt
I enjoyed how the first line of each verse went on to encompass accurate descriptions of each first word. Magical! 🙂
– finding the descriptions to nature in the words is more than half the challenge so many thanks Carol
Who would think that such a structured form could lead to such flowing lyricism – beautiful and sensuous Laura…
thank you Andrew especially as being fluid within structure is difficult for me as it often feels like stricture
So very well composed, Laura. So very sensual.
had to use a lot of imagination – thank you Tish
I love that ending, Laura. Thanks for the intro to this form.
thank you Shay and for joining in with such passion
I especially love the last line, Laura. The sensuality of your poem is so appealing!
many thanks for your appreciation
Indeed, each three syllable line set the stage for the sensuous lines that followed. Increasing with intensity, to that last satisfying line.
thank you Helen had to juggle the stanzas around till I found some kind of rhythm, some kind of order
“The scent of summer storms on your skin.”
Beautiful imagery, great poem, Laura!
many thanks for your appreciation