My grief is a wordless thing after the first flood, a solitary summer that dried the river beds - and almost filled the field of vision, colourless opaque as cataracts drawn like blinds over windowless eyes - but still I saw the home become a distant speck flying weightless, unearthly for a while a cloud-hopper seeding rain - and there I saw the path we trod now formless, tracked it back though all September's signs swallows had slipped South - and there I knew that grief is an ageless thing it heeds no earthly cares and leaves me breathless - yet still I know how senseless this sense of absence since spirit is a boundless thing
In memory of Martin and wordsmithed from a list of ‘less’ suffixed words for my Poetics Prompt: Less is More, More or Less
31 thoughts on “Lessons in loss”
There is such beauty in a grief expressed like this… and the glimmer of hope coming as spirit in the end. A wonderful and sad poem to read
Thank you Björn- less painful now!
I’m pleased you find a hopeful sense to this, because your portrayal of the hopelessness of loss is so easy to empathise with
Hopeful & hopeless lying side by side when the eyes can see beyond tears
You’re lucky to have that sight.
“Hopeful & hopeless lying side by side when the eyes can see beyond tears”
I think this sums it up, perfectly.
All that bleak imagery is very effective – it’s a poem that made a powerful emotional connection for me. On a technical note, that use of a dash in the last line of each stanza is very fine, it adds a sense of urgency, and a slight change in tone each time. And it’s pleasing to the eye.
Thank you Sarah for the technical feedback – I am partial to the dash – it operates in more ways than one and I really liked your interpretation of its various effects
Beautifully written, poignant and genuine and very clever use of the less suffixed words. I really liked the structure too with the last of each line -hyphenated, seemed to add to the less/loss and poignancy
I really appreciate your words Catherine especially’genuine’ as without that such poems become mere maudlin lines
Lovely poem with great use of “-less” words!
Thank you Bev
“grief is an ageless thing
it heeds no earthly cares”
sings with a beautiful terrible power
If only the rest believed with the mind that spirit is boundless.
A very impactful poem, Laura.
I really appreciate your words – thank you
You are welcome, Laura.
I really like this poem… You have described grief and its overwhelmingness so well!
the field of vision, colourless
opaque as cataracts drawn like blinds
Glad you felt that here – thank you
Laura, a beautifully written poem that touched me deeply 😢
Thank you for your feedback Christine – if the words moved you then the poem worked!
Your poem has left an imprint on my soul, Laura, and it’s a beautiful tribute to Martin. Your imagery is so honest and powerful, especially the ‘solitary summer that dried the river beds’ and ‘cataracts drawn like blinds over windowless eyes’.
Wonderful feedback Kim – A very personal poem but a universal theme- many thanks for your kind words
The repetition of the -less words compounds the feeling of loss. and the images of the natural world give it context. (K)
Great observations – thank you
I like the contrast between grief being an ageless thing and spirit boundless.
Yes it’s an ageless experience for us mortals and only the boundlessness of spirit offers hope
“Less is more” is a paradox of mind and heart, for sure–as you say, grief is wordless weightless formless windowless ageless and breathless, yet for every absence is harrows there is a “boundless” spirit to encourage and welcome it in dreaming ahead. Very well done poem and a great response to the challenge.
Thank you Brendan -had a slight advantage with my challenge and less/loss is personally pertinent
I feel that!! poignant and beautiful Laura.
back on the internet and able to reply to you now with many thanks
This is beautiful.
Thank you for that x
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