PoetryPix
depictions by the rule of thirds; descriptions mostly freestyle words
Ferment I & II
~I i ~
Those eyes blue as ice
Pale Englishman came cold calling without
Flowers, proffering half-beat haikus and derring-do
Might we have orchestrated mood music instead?
Still September nights are still the saddest.
Have you rent that roving spirit with
Timetables? One slot on the regulation rota
To imbibe sweet reverie like noble rot of
Fruit fermenting in the orchard
~I ii ~
Those were once these
Pale pulsing heads of blush hydrangea.
Flowers, now a crisp-dry palette of mauves
Might envision Victoriana parlours
Still and sonorous with a grandfather clock.
Have we two faded into such a feeble history?
Time was when seasons were all summer sensation
To tickle and titillate without thought of
Fruit fermenting in the orchard
~ II ~
It seems as though you are still summer
because rememberings stay still
no note since nor single sound
no unveiled sight to cast
motes from eyes. Junebug
in amber glow
rose-tinted
ferment
void
Taking one consecutive word from a line of Karina Borowicz poem ‘September Tomatoes’ as starter for a 9-line verse: "Those/ pale /flowers /might /still /have/ time/ to /fruit" + 9-1 syllabic Nonet with opener from W.S. Merwin's “To the Light of September” for my Poetics Challenge: Nine across to countdown
49 Comments on “Ferment I & II”
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I love how all the poems end with ferment… this is so much more vivid and better than the rot I think of first. Fermentation is growth more than decay.
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had to find a way to unite the poems and verses and I like ferment – gives so many lovely drinks – we too are stirred into a ferment or state of agitation or intense activity
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You showed us how it’s done, Laura! I love that we chose the same line and how the poems are so different. Yours are all equally beautiful, although I do like the pale Englishman who came cold calling without flowers, instead ‘proffering half-beat haikus and daring do’. The hydrangea also appealed to me as they remind me of my grandparents.
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will come and see soon Kim – meanwhile the cold Englishman has gone the way of the hydrangea 😉
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🙂
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I like the complementary first two and the third feels like a detachment from them.
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thank you – I guess the third being a Nonet – can only nod to familiarity!
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🙂
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Amazing, amazing, amazing. Your writing style is evocative to the story it tells in such an original and innovative way. Your poetry is beautiful, especially this piece with how you used the same words at the beginning for the first two poems and it still created a new image in mind to put with it. Very beautiful work, and I thank you for the prompt today. It is very unique!
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really appreciate your words Lucy – not least as the prompt took a lot of working out. I like the challenge of poetry form sometimes and how words go off in different directions!
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Your three verses are perfect illustrations for your prompt. The first stanza is my favorite. I liked “Proffering half-beat haikus and daring do.” I wonder if you meant “derring-do”?
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thanks Glenn – and for the spelling nudge (a common error in English according to Washington State Uni
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and now amended too
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Your words are always so meticulously chosen – I thought there was a hidden, except to your eyes, memory of … daring do.
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Appreciate your astute thinking Diane but I suppose the correct spelling never sounds quite right to me
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These are all beautifully done!
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Many thanks
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Beautiful word study. Ebb and flow, warp and weft. Beautiful!
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A moving comment! Thank you
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🙂 LOVE puns! 🙂
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These are all very good examples Laura. Love the autumn mood and theme of ferment:
noble rot of
Fruit fermenting in the orchard
and: Flowers, now a crisp-dry palette of mauves
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Thank you Grace – the inferences were what I was after here
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Well, if anyone has questions about how to do this, I’m definitely sending them here. My hat if off..
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Your comment made me smile – thank you for that Ron
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The buildup of sensations and images comes cascading down with the last word, clarifying loss and absence with unexpected force. Simply beautiful 🙂
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I really appreciate your nicely observed feedback Dora – many thanks for that
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Wow. You were quite busy with this prompt. I really like the second poem. Nicely done.
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thank you – busy indeed putting together this prompt to make it both interesting and challenging – hope you found it so
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The sadness of summer’s end come through very clearly. Love all the poems.
Liked this line…
no unveiled sight to cast
motes from eyes.
The story of our life since Covid-19.
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you picked up on the mood all right Dwight – how I feel even before Covid!
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Thank You!
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Your thoughts have fermented and produced poetry worth imbibing!
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great comment – witty and concise – thank you Lynn
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So clever Laura. The regret in the first pair. Like how you’ve echoed images across the two – ‘blue eyes’ and pale ‘hydrangeas – in the second and the shared last line – and the pun on ‘ferment’ linking both – suggesting both growth and decay and drunkenness perhaps. Terrific stuff.
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you have encapsulated and observed just how and what the writings were meant to convey – as usual astute observations from you Peter
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Awesome write … standing O. Now I have an image in my mind of the man who created ‘half-beat haikus’ ~ cheers.
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lovely comment Helen – let your imagination beat to haiku man!!!
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I like the evocation of Victorian parlours with the faded grandeur of hydrangea flowers. They are so good at drying and fading and lingering.
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thank you – have a penchant for such Vitoriana & that line furnished it nicely
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🙂
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I liked the combination of the three of these together.
And these lines stood out for me,
“because rememberings stay still
no note since nor single sound”
Beautiful
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I’m glad you feel these belong together – thank you Ali
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II is haunting. Absolute chills down my spine.
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yes there is something about faded pasts that does that!
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The line “ Fruit fermenting in the orchard” took me straight back to picking apples with my grandparents. Such a specific smell. All three poems were well done!
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These are all quite well done. I thought the second was particularly striking in comparing our more subtle, settled (?) middle aged selves to the more sedate autumnal time. Ah youth, and the riotous blooms and colors of summer…
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That certainly is one way of reading it
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Three beauties, with my favorite being number 3.
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Many thanks 🙏
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