Ferment I & II

Posted on 15 Sep 2020 by

49 Comments

~I i ~

Those eyes blue as ice
Pale Englishman came cold calling without
Flowers, proffering half-beat haikus and derring-do
Might we have orchestrated mood music instead?
Still September nights are still the saddest.
Have you rent that roving spirit with
Timetables? One slot on the regulation rota
To imbibe sweet reverie like noble rot of
Fruit fermenting in the orchard

~I ii ~

Those were once these
Pale pulsing heads of blush hydrangea.
Flowers, now a crisp-dry palette of mauves
Might envision Victoriana parlours
Still and sonorous with a grandfather clock.
Have we two faded into such a feeble history?
Time was when seasons were all summer sensation
To tickle and titillate without thought of
Fruit fermenting in the orchard

~ II ~

It seems as though you are still summer
because rememberings stay still
no note since nor single sound
no unveiled sight to cast
motes from eyes. Junebug
in amber glow
rose-tinted
ferment
void

Taking one consecutive word from a line of Karina Borowicz poem ‘September Tomatoes’ as starter for a 9-line verse: "Those/ pale /flowers /might /still /have/ time/ to /fruit"   + 9-1 syllabic Nonet  with opener from W.S. Merwin's “To the Light of September” for my Poetics Challenge: Nine across to countdown

Category: PoetryTags: , , , , , , , ,

49 Comments on “Ferment I & II”

  1. I love how all the poems end with ferment… this is so much more vivid and better than the rot I think of first. Fermentation is growth more than decay.

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    • had to find a way to unite the poems and verses and I like ferment – gives so many lovely drinks – we too are stirred into a ferment or state of agitation or intense activity

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  2. You showed us how it’s done, Laura! I love that we chose the same line and how the poems are so different. Yours are all equally beautiful, although I do like the pale Englishman who came cold calling without flowers, instead ‘proffering half-beat haikus and daring do’. The hydrangea also appealed to me as they remind me of my grandparents.

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  3. I like the complementary first two and the third feels like a detachment from them.

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  4. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Your writing style is evocative to the story it tells in such an original and innovative way. Your poetry is beautiful, especially this piece with how you used the same words at the beginning for the first two poems and it still created a new image in mind to put with it. Very beautiful work, and I thank you for the prompt today. It is very unique!

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    • really appreciate your words Lucy – not least as the prompt took a lot of working out. I like the challenge of poetry form sometimes and how words go off in different directions!

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  5. Your three verses are perfect illustrations for your prompt. The first stanza is my favorite. I liked “Proffering half-beat haikus and daring do.” I wonder if you meant “derring-do”?

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  8. These are all very good examples Laura. Love the autumn mood and theme of ferment:

    noble rot of
    Fruit fermenting in the orchard
    and: Flowers, now a crisp-dry palette of mauves

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  9. Well, if anyone has questions about how to do this, I’m definitely sending them here. My hat if off..

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  10. The buildup of sensations and images comes cascading down with the last word, clarifying loss and absence with unexpected force. Simply beautiful 🙂

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    • thank you – busy indeed putting together this prompt to make it both interesting and challenging – hope you found it so

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  12. The sadness of summer’s end come through very clearly. Love all the poems.
    Liked this line…
    no unveiled sight to cast
    motes from eyes.
    The story of our life since Covid-19.

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  14. So clever Laura. The regret in the first pair. Like how you’ve echoed images across the two – ‘blue eyes’ and pale ‘hydrangeas – in the second and the shared last line – and the pun on ‘ferment’ linking both – suggesting both growth and decay and drunkenness perhaps. Terrific stuff.

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  15. Awesome write … standing O. Now I have an image in my mind of the man who created ‘half-beat haikus’ ~ cheers.

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  16. I like the evocation of Victorian parlours with the faded grandeur of hydrangea flowers. They are so good at drying and fading and lingering.

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  17. I liked the combination of the three of these together.
    And these lines stood out for me,
    “because rememberings stay still
    no note since nor single sound”
    Beautiful

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  19. The line “ Fruit fermenting in the orchard” took me straight back to picking apples with my grandparents. Such a specific smell. All three poems were well done!

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  20. These are all quite well done. I thought the second was particularly striking in comparing our more subtle, settled (?) middle aged selves to the more sedate autumnal time. Ah youth, and the riotous blooms and colors of summer…

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