(i) October dawn grey but reaching into gold mornings now much lazier and cold so quiet too since songbirds keep their aubades* unexpressed young, hungry, clamour hollow in the nests A few tune up, sporadically thin wintry songs in minor keys so sweet I reach across the empty sheet already feeling bleak. I had not sensed you stir, nor heard the shutting door the bathroom light your au revoir
(ii) there is mourning to be had early, each morning but re-birth and babies too. Memories of May or June and torn from bed a mother is hastening to rock and swathe and hold an infant in esurience dawn rays pierce her sleepy head hair haloed gold, like all Madonna's wear which slips each night between the sheets his arms enfolding each caress, withholding urgency from lust. With kisses speaking wordlessly of love possessed, eternal till dawn's clear parting of the days and sun ups shedding light on just how unattached we always are, to ever after.
*pronounced like o-bard
For my MTB: Critique and Craft prompt: ‘Morning has broken‘ we are writing ‘aubade‘ poetry which both evokes and greets the dawn and/or is the bitter-sweet parting of lovers at first light
33 thoughts on “Morning au revoirs”
So beautiful and profound, both of your poems, Laura! The first reads as a ‘wintry song in minor keys so sweet,’ the second is full of the depth of love and the pain of loss and separation.
many thanks Ingrid for your appreciation – the two parts are in contrasting seasons but the bitter-sweet unites them
So very beautiful… and the two seasons make them work as a unity, both bitter-sweet with parting… bringing the past every night make every morning bitter-sweet.
thank you Bjorn – I am glad you felt the two parts as a whole since that bitter-sweetness of aubades are not confined to winters!
So much to love here in both your poems, Laura! The use of language here is intoxicating. I especially love; “With kisses speaking wordlessly of love possessed.” Thank you so much for glorious prompt! ❤️
thank you for joining in Sanaa and for such a lovely comment
While I loved the entry into this verse and the wonderful lines of chirping birds, I was moved into stunned silence by the denouement…superb… and though we read the poems in silence, yes, I do tend to mouth them…until stunned. I love poetry like this.
the reading is primary whether mouthed or aloud so I really value your comment Ain
I love the tow poems and how they intertwine. Like wrapped in lover’s arms- wonderful!
nice analogy Linda – many thanks
Geez- misspelled two- lol. 😊
Oh yes, these partners dance so beautifully, Laura. Aubade as it should be. Thanks.
a wonderful entwining you conjured there, Ron – thank you
Both “poems” are truly musical, like a ballad. I applaud the wordsmanship. I liked “withholding urgency from lust”. I used aubade as a love song, working outside the box.
thanks for that Glen especially as the aubade is also a piece of music!
I keep going back to that third stanza. I love it.
nice to know what resonates – thank you Maria
Beautiful writing Laura, exceptionally stirronb!
am stirred by your comment Rob 😉 thank you
Poignant songs of love. I especially like the image of the empty sheet and the bathroom light. (K)
as with all poems some parts are true to life!
This aches with longing, Laura, but realistic in being unattached to “ever afters”…seasons change in love too.
yes Lynn we mortals tend to forget that sometimes
These are both so beautiful – and the transience of experience adds to that.
thank you Sarah – the transience is definitley part of the aubade’s ache
There is longing, sadness and separation which connects both verses. Beautifully crafted, Laura. Such a fine example of aubade done right.
am very touched by your comment – thank for that!
You are welcome.
This is so sad and hopeful and true. I had tears in my eyes by the end.
when poems stir our emotions something is right so I do appreciate your feedback
A very effective juxtaposition between verses i. and ii. which both shows the commonality of life and love, and the changes it undergoes that keep it alive and sensate. I especially liked ‘withholding urgency from lust,’ and ‘eternal til dawn’s clear parting..”
So beautifully written, Laura! That last stanza is golden.
What a lovely comment – thank you
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