Morning au revoirs

(i)
October dawn
grey but reaching into gold
mornings now much lazier and cold

so quiet too since songbirds
keep their aubades* unexpressed
young, hungry, clamour hollow in the nests

A few tune up, sporadically
thin wintry songs in minor keys so sweet
I reach across the empty sheet 

already feeling bleak. I had not sensed
you stir, nor heard the shutting door 
the bathroom light your au revoir
(ii)
there is mourning to be had early, each morning
but re-birth and babies too. Memories of May
or June and torn from bed a mother is hastening
to rock and swathe and hold an infant in esurience
dawn rays pierce her sleepy head
hair haloed gold, like all Madonna's wear

which slips each night between the sheets
his arms enfolding each caress, withholding
urgency from lust. With kisses speaking
wordlessly of love possessed, eternal
till dawn's clear parting of the days
and sun ups shedding light 
on just how unattached
we always are, to ever after.

*pronounced like o-bard

For my MTB: Critique and Craft prompt: ‘Morning has broken‘ we are writing ‘aubade‘ poetry which both evokes and greets the dawn and/or is the bitter-sweet parting of lovers at first light

33 thoughts on “Morning au revoirs

  1. So beautiful and profound, both of your poems, Laura! The first reads as a ‘wintry song in minor keys so sweet,’ the second is full of the depth of love and the pain of loss and separation.

  2. So much to love here in both your poems, Laura! The use of language here is intoxicating. I especially love; “With kisses speaking wordlessly of love possessed.” Thank you so much for glorious prompt! ❤️

  3. While I loved the entry into this verse and the wonderful lines of chirping birds, I was moved into stunned silence by the denouement…superb… and though we read the poems in silence, yes, I do tend to mouth them…until stunned. I love poetry like this.

  4. Both “poems” are truly musical, like a ballad. I applaud the wordsmanship. I liked “withholding urgency from lust”. I used aubade as a love song, working outside the box.

  5. A very effective juxtaposition between verses i. and ii. which both shows the commonality of life and love, and the changes it undergoes that keep it alive and sensate. I especially liked ‘withholding urgency from lust,’ and ‘eternal til dawn’s clear parting..”

feedback is food for thought....

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