Still, until the glacier - imperceptible
Peak descendant slipped away - sliced from ice retires
Boldly bare in shrouds of mist - cloaked with moss and grass
Ancient lines divide its crust- fragment in my fist

37 thoughts on “Grandchild of Mt Hua”

1. I love the sense that the rock can tell that long slow story of how it traveled from the peak into the valley below.

   1. its how the mountain comes down to us mere mortals!

2. I enjoyed your grandchild of Mt Hua, Laura. I especially love the image of the glacier retiring ‘Boldly bare in shrouds of mist’, and the ‘fragment in my fist’ is a defiant ending – silhouettes of mountains and glaciers often look like fists.

   1. I love that interpretation Kim – thank you

3. International Rock Day – I didn’t know that, but I like rocks, especially since my geology study. Our small garden is littered with river rocks. So many different faces. But I also see some history, understand where they came from – that enormity. Your poem too, I feel that glacial movement scything down, getting close to hand. Big forces, so maybe that’s how “fist” can carry it on. But (pardon) wondering, another path of contrast, how would “palm” sound in its place? More vulnerable? But lovely, no matter what.

   1. am always open to suggestion Neil and I like to hear this as feedback but it has to be fist because it is a victorious gesture, has more of a grip on the precious and it alliterates with fragment

      1. Thanks Laura, I understand. Sometimes someones says to me, maybe this might change – and I look, fair consideration, but yep, in the end, my poem and my way is the way I go. Because, is the only reason I need. 😀 ❤️

         1. even so I like the timbre of palm and altogether it casts a softer, contemplative note which goes to show how much words, especially in poetry, carry so much more than meaning and sound

            1. Yes yes, you’re exactly right. That’s the quest, isn’t it. Seeing a perfect word, perfectly. (no matter which one, you know)

4. Beautiful imagery of becoming the rock babies. I love this prompt and your tribute to Bai Jui’s poetry. I had no idea it was International Rock day. ❤️

   1. thank you – when setting the prompt I always look for what day it might as thematic inspiration 🙂

5. Such a beautiful progression in a few lines. Beautifully done, Laura, from the peak to holding the “fragment in my fist.”

   1. many thanks Merril for your observation- it is the progression to ‘grandchild’ that I tried to capture here

      1. Yes, You’re welcome, Laura.

6. Very nicely done, Laura!

   1. thank you Dwight

7. so vivid, wonderful writing, Laura! ❤

   1. many thanks and apologies on behalf of the spam catcher

      1. No worries, Laura, that spam catcher is good when it works right 🥰🥰

8. Love this, esp the fisted fragments closer.
   Thank you, LB, for introducing me to this form. Very cool.

   1. many thanks Ron – for your appreciation of the form and this Imayo

9. They travel down the mountain to mingle with humans, until one day they wash out to sea. Beautiful poem, Laura.

   1. like gods descending

10. Thanks for introducing me to this form. I like the way this flows. The fisted bits of stone really is impactful!

    1. and thank you Colleen for your appreciation and for joining in with the prompt – I’m afradi the spam catcher hid your comment till now!

11. Wish I’m as poetic as you are. Beautifully written in just a few words!

    1. thank you for your appreciation – we are all very different but poets nonetheless!

12. Power-packed lines!

    1. thanks Reena – the form’s syllabic stricture suits this

       1. Yes.

13. I enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme in this, translating the 12 syllables to iambic feet. I always this the traditional Japanese forms work best when they’re adapted to traditional western forms.

    1. I too am uneasy with replicating the non-Western forms as there is a divide we cannot truly comprehend but at least this form is more accessible with the whole stanza supposed to be a verse to be sung (the pauses are thus for breath!)

       1. Exactly. And that not only the language but the musical aesthetic is completely different, the syllable business only makes sense to our western ear, so why make it clunky syllable-counting? It’s the same with Medieval poetry, written to be sung, strict rhythm and rhyme, and you get people ‘modernising ‘ it ie taking away all the musicality. Nonsense.

14. I like your generational view of mountains, Laura. And thanks for challenging us to try a new form!

    1. thank you Lynn – it was quite a challenge for me – somewhere between a rock and a hard place 😉

15. A spiritual feeling permeates your poem Laura … lovely beyond words. Thank you for an intriguing challenge.

    1. glad you picked up on that Helen as that is one reason for the fist – to have and to hold the mountain!

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