Amy Lowell’s bath

Published on by Laura Bloomsbury 
The day is a smell of tulips.
And narcissus at the bathroom window 
in planes of greenish-white
dance, dance deliciously over the ceiling 
my finger sets light in water
sun-flawed beryl water.

The day almost covers me
and the sunspots. Blue and high
a crow flaps a whiff of tulips
in the air,

“The day is fresh-washed and fair, and there is a smell of tulips and narcissus in the air.
       The sunshine pours in at the bath-room window and bores through the water in the bath-tub in lathes and planes of greenish-white. It cleaves the water into flaws like a jewel, and cracks it to bright light.
       Little spots of sunshine lie on the surface of the water and dance, dance, and their reflections wobble deliciously over the ceiling; a stir of my finger sets them whirring, reeling. I move a foot and the planes of light in the water jar. I lie back and laugh, and let the green-white water, the sun-flawed beryl water, flow over me. The day is almost too bright to bear, the green water covers me from the too bright day. I will lie here awhile and play with the water and the sun spots. The sky is blue and high. A crow flaps by the window, and there is a whiff of tulips and narcissus in the air.”

An erasure poem from Amy Lowell’s poem “Bath” for Open Link Night @ dVerse where anything goes

35 thoughts on “Amy Lowell’s bath”

  1. Amazing work with the erasure; I love how you made the poem simply have a ‘presence’, yet the reader is also a presence, but an observant one.

  5. A deftly executed erasure poem, Laura. I especially love the use of spring scents – tulips are my favourite flower. I also love the image in these lines:
    ‘And narcissus at the bathroom window
    in planes of greenish-white
    dance, dance deliciously over the ceiling ‘.

  7. Oh how amazing is this. I read this Amy Lowell poem recently and got inspired. But you did it beautiful justice. I adore this. Thanks for sharing. Blessings.

  8. This erasure poem demonstrates how reduction can birth something new with a subtle different meaning and viewpoint – not easy…

    1. I hesitate to cross the plagiarism boundary with such as these but see it as learning from the poets and with enough redactions, find another within

      1. Following the example of Misky on It’s Still Life, I have been trying to make “found” poems using The Waterbabies text as source but honestly, he writes so lyrically that it feels more like precis-ing the text.

  9. I am literally swooning right now 😍 Exquisite erasure poem, Laura! ❤️❤️

  10. Divine.
    Thanks for showing the original poem with the lines crossed out alongside your poem. I am always curious about the process of writing. I had not thought about this as a way to learn from another poet.

    1. many thanks Ali – I put the original alongside as that is my work in progress and then I can see what to include or leave out – I tend to look for prose poems and see what emerges in a few lines

  12. Lovely, Laura. I particular like the last line “a crow flaps a whiff of tulips
    in the air,” There’s something quite sensual about your rendering. I think I’d like to try something like that, just for practice. 🙂

  14. Is it odd? I don’t know. How somethings afterwards, told a second time, told a second way, can be as fresh as a dawn awaiting its turn. I feel the same about cento poems as well. Beautifully done Laura.

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