A Sleeper Regrets

Published on by Laura Bloomsbury 
When I conjure thoughts of dawn
it's always some vagueness
backlighting trees. Murky
like the undertow of wild ponds   
then when colours, shade to lit, collide
that frontier, streaked with vibrancy
pops the day in blue hour hues.
And somewhere the surf rolls steadily

and the dawn spreads full of sound.
Over the push-pull suck of shingle
the tideline dump of bladder wrack
a tangle of shell, the freshly dead
fish head, crab claw. Gulls glean greedily
dogs on an early walk, rush them
yap, bark, yelp, and waves curl ashore.
Morning awakens to mayhem

I'm still dreaming of another dawn
never that dash for an early flight
with a rosy stripe above the clouds
But an easy mountain clamber
slate grey and ankle deep in sheep
and bracken. Back to that one reminisce
when a half moon rocketed up
and hauled a ball of sun at solstice. 

I've rarely peered through crack of day
but cursed the clock-watch chanticleer
and birds in Matins, piping in the Spring
or winter's rays just when sleep begins.
Ancients adored this eastern goddess*
but I have squandered hours of sun
these lie-a-beds, and slowly dawning
are the countless hours I've left undone
  • chanticleer – a rooster, personified in medieval verse narratives
  • Eos/Aurora – Greek & Roman goddesses of the dawn

For my MTB prompt: It begins to dawn we are writing poetry in the style of Laura Lamarca’s A L’Arora – 4 octet stanzas (or more), no syllable count and only a required rhyme in lines 6 &8. And since it derives from aurora, Italian for dawn, this becomes the subject too.

40 thoughts on “A Sleeper Regrets”

  1. Wow, Laura, you’ve set the bar high! What a fantastic dawn poem. I love the title, the interplay of light and shade, the phrase ‘pops the day in blue hour hues’ and the amazing beach scene. These lines stood out for me:
    ‘…a half moon rocketed up
    and hauled a ball of sun at solstice’

    and
    ‘…I have squandered hours of sun
    these lie-a-beds, and slowly dawning
    are the countless hours I’ve left undone’.

    1. how heartening to hear this Kim as I struggled to write for quite a while and threw away the first attempt to literally begin again like a new dawn!!

  2. Loved it, Laura. Not just the mastery of the form but the mastery of a range of emotions encapsulated in the imagery of dawn that draws upon our emotions, resonating with yours, each sensory expression a visual drama.

  3. Laura, this is such a lovely example of the form. Love the thoughts and colors of dawn, sounds and energy specially in the second stanza. I wouldn’t want to wake up to the mayhem but love what you did to pull us into the scene. Thanks for hosting and introducing us to this new form.

  4. Thoughtful in its philosophy, where you realize the lie abeds are wasting time. As usual your way with words goes way beyond meeting the bar. The walks along the water are lovely and I can smell them from here.

  5. Dawn can certainly greet us (and us, it) differently in different contexts. I love the atmosphere of your third stanza, “ankle deep in sheep and bracken”. (K)

  7. Wow! I hear Dylan Thomas in the ‘push-pull suck of shingle’ and so much more besides. I like how few pauses you’ve used, it echoes how time ‘awakens to mayhem’ with no time to pause and hold on to the night.

  8. A stunning read, Laura! So reminiscent of Hopkins for me, the way your ideas flow with ease through rhyme and rhythm and image patterning. My favorite lines were these—

    an easy mountain clamber
    slate grey and ankle deep in sheep
    and bracken

    —fit for their own verse, perhaps, at the break of another day.

    1. I’m honoured to have this poem spoken of in the same breath as GMH -thank you for such encouraging feedback and one fine dawning the lines you mention may well service as epigraph or an expanded fragment

  9. What a lot you pack into one poem, Laura – the second stanza evoked Under Milkwood for me…

    1. thank you for your feedback – DT is one poet I often turn too so am happy he resonates in my writing – I would suggest that stanza is even closer to his ‘Portrait of the artist as a young dog’

  10. I will start with “wow” then follow it with “wow” as apparently “wow” is pretty much all I got, and I am occasionally good at words, the best feeble attempt I have at the complexity and imagery of this sleep regret. I have a feeling I will keep coming back to this one, I mean “Back to that one reminisce when a half moon rocketed up and hauled a ball of sun at solstice” and yet another day missed is fantastic. Ok, “fantastic” another word besides “wow”. Something at least. Cheers.

  11. A delicious write, Laura. I was pulled into the wrack and tangle by the second stanza and unwillingly detached myself from the familiar “lie-a-bed”-ing at the end.

    You have really met the bar for your own prompt – a scary manoeuvre and brilliantly demonstrated!

  12. Ah, Laura – I had wondered whether prompt-setters try their own challenge either before of after they throw down the gauntlet, as it were!

  13. You’ve written a lyrical A L’Arora. I am especially drawn to these parts:

    “And somewhere the surf rolls steadily

    and the dawn spreads full of sound.”

    ”I’m still dreaming of another dawn
    never that dash for an early flight
    with a rosy stripe above the clouds”

  15. This touched something deep in me, memories, a sense of those lost dawns in sleep. This is stellar stuff Laura.

  16. Laura, I am searching for words so that I don’t sound like a stuck record. This is so very beautiful. Since I am rarely awake at the crack of dawn, your words resonated deeply. But however hard may I try, I will never be able to put it in words like you do. Amazing masterclass. ❤️

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