Some dullard white, some tepid greys
monochromatic paraphrase 
most winter days give turbid light
the best are sparked by ice clichés
by rime, by snows that will ignite
some tepid greys, some dullard white 

ii
Between snowfall, beneath bare bough
ten pitch-black crows commend the plough
and wistful robin overhauls
a repertoire that does allow
a glimpse of Spring for moods that pall
beneath bare bough, between snowfall

44 thoughts on “A sparrowlet in winter”

1. Rime is probably from a scandinavian word… hoarfrost is rimfrost in Swedish. I love the way you painted the winter scenery and that hint of hope in the end.

   1. thanks Bjorn – by now winter is palling with me

      p.s. I love etymology – “Old English hrim, from Proto-Germanic *khrima- (source also of Old Norse hrim, Dutch rijm, German Reif).

      1. And it’s almost like rhyme (rim in Swedish) which apparently comes from French…

         1. which came from the German! and yes rime is also rhyme in old English

2. I love the use of colour in your sparrowlet in winter, Laura, ‘monochromatic paraphrase’ and ‘ice clichés’. The wistful robin did it for me.

   1. thank you Kim – the bright ice whites are like much looked for winter sunshine

      1. My pleasure, Laura.

3. You show us how it’s done, Laura, and the palate of colors display the “moods that pall” so exquisitely.

   1. many thanks Dora – it took me a while to find a way into this poetry style but it became easier I think because of the 8 syllables

   2. She do, don’t she? It’s a feast.

      1. ❤

4. I love the rhythm of this form. I enjoyed the many deft turns of words and ideas in this. Wonderful!

   1. I believe the recommended rhythm of the Sparrowlet is iambic tetrameter – and I tried for that so thank you Lisa

5. Words sprinkled between snowfalls, between farrows, just before the tip of Spring arrives…

   1. thank you Ain for sprinkling your words here!

6. The line about the crows and the plough delighted me, Laura. I enjoyed the whole thing very much and admired your word choices such as turbid/tepid and dullard white.

   Shay

   1. as always Shay your feedback is both encouraging and well considered – many thanks!

7. Thy deft wordsmithing in Old English brightens the dullards of winter, me thinks.

   1. methinks ye speake truthe

      1. aye!

8. I love it Laura. Love how you took me from the throngs of winter, intact with magnificent color, to the gentle hope of spring approaching. The whole poem is magnificent and mesmerizing. And now that I feel ignited, I might be brave ti give it a try too. We will see. Thanks. Bless you.

   1. thank you Selma – it will be good to see your sparks

9. We don’t often get much snow in Silsden but your poem recalled a winter when we did and freezing fog built on the large snow crystals till the snow was a forest of branching crystals. I took a long walk up into the fields and took a lot of photographs – including a hopeful re-breasted robin… Thanks, Laura!

   P.S. More snow forecast on Monday…

   1. your description perfectly accords with the first stanza

      p.s. 2 bouts since November here in Dale and Vale

10. Phenomenal poem, Laura!

    Yvette M Calleiro 🙂

    1. thank you Yvettte (I take out your link because you get trapped by the spam catcher)

       1. Thanks for letting me know! I’ll stop using it on your site. 🙂

          1. thank you – if it sees a live link, assumes its spam

11. Laura,

    I like the way this sounds when read out loud. The first two lines are especially delicious in wording and image.

    1. I especially appreciate comments on how the poem sounds so thank you Ali

12. Those robins in winter do give heart. (K)

    1. fire in the breast and song in their heart ❤

13. Your Sparrowlet is lovely, I read it and decided to read it aloud. The rhythm in your poem is hypnotic and a pleasure to ‘hear.’ Thank you for an intriguing challenge, Laura.

    1. many thanks Helen – that’s music to my ears 😉

14. I’m ready for glimpses of spring here!

15. This is wonderful!

    1. thank you

16. When you do rhyme, it is something to emulate. Lovely sparrowlet, Laura and like most of your poems, it has to read aloud. How can spring not heed your call..

    1. If only Spring would take notice of your heartening feedback – today’s cold rain has just turned to snow

       1. Oh, dear! But who knows tomorrow maybe sunny. 🙂

17. Fantastic write Laura!

    1. 🙏

18. The rhyming is beautiful, as are the wistful robins giving up hope for spring.

    1. thank you – the rhymes were forced by the style so I appreciate that and the opportunity to test my rhyme schemes

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