PoetryPix
depictions by the rule of thirds; descriptions mostly freestyle words
Pearly gates
I’ve already trashed eleven with a flourish
(good riddance to bad rubbish and all that)
today seven drafts are designated for delete
which sounds ominously like the tumbrels
but since all of them hang together like a badly beaded bracelet
it’s just a matter of cutting the string – Ping!
three though have just enough pearls to warrant a stay of execution
hand made to measure for erasure:-
wayfaring is a muted affair
to lift the canopy and vanish
after fattening lambs
the city rolled into dusty tracks
feeling foolish then in sudden rain
watering-can clouds caught me
in flagrante without a care
Helios’ arrival was opportune
two pawns taken en passant
vain weathercock warriors
canting as a homespun queen
An erasure poem of my own drafts – Charley (Life in Portofino) calls his drafts sleeping alligators – I wish I’d thought of that so with a nod to his wordsmithing, this category is called ‘crocks on the rocks’
Today, 1st of July is a fresh start and am putting these mouldering lines on the shelf of Poetry Pantry #409
38 Comments on “Pearly gates”
My Garden Blog
A great piece
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glad you thought the upcycling was worth it!
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You are brave to trash them. I tend to let them age like an old wine hoping that even if they don’t stand by themselves they might be the basis for later thoughts…but kill them? Oh no!
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once the acetobacter gets in, they are only good for the drain – or a salvage job with erasure poetry as here!
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Or, well, for Italian sauces if they are a red… 🙂
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Bolognese anyone?
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Oh love the images of vanishing after fattening lambs and the water can clouds!!!
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rather like your micro poetry ❤
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Ack, i can feel the finger on the delete key. That takes courage. I keep far too many impossible drafts.
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It brings to mind the Brian Patten poem – it is time to tidy up your life
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Nice. And I’m always up for sending words off in the tumbrels. Off with their verbs!
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And cut to the chase –
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I have them all in my digital archive… on my blog… but I think a reuse would be great.
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I think I will do these ‘crocks on the rocks’ as a regular clean up though I should back up too!
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The upcycling was definitely worth it – a fine erasure poem.
Of long-forgotten and rediscovered drafts, sometimes I wonder what planet I was on when I wrote ‘that’…and then press delete.
Anna :o]
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Thank you – felt good to end up with a poem after the rub outs
P.s. Drafts are a bit like old boyfriends and the ‘what on earth did I see in him” feeling
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Such a stunning erasure poem, Laura! 💜 Especially like: “wayfaring is a muted affair to lift the canopy and vanish after fattening lambs.” 💜
Strangely I have never been able to keep drafts.. I just ramble on and click publish! 😉
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That made me laugh! Your ramblings do you proud
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New beginnings often require sacrifice, reshaping, letting go… of one thing in order to reach for another. Every now and again, the re-crafting gives something precious. It’s one of the things I like about editing, redacting, remaking.
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Indeed!
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I love this and am so glad that your crocs on rocks found a great home
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Many thanks Audrey – they are basking now having finally seen daylight!
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Those 3 that survived – ‘handmade to measure for erasure’- sure did well in the end. Brave of you to be able to trash and cut work you’ve discarded. I hold onto mine …(I’m not sure to what end).
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Maybe they are waiting for another Harrison prompt…
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Maybe…lol!
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Ah, I don’t trash many. Perhaps I should. Smiles. Clever erasing! Smiles.
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Ah thanks for the smiles Mary
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I truly enjoy this! And thank you for the credit… always nice to discover I’ve done something worthwhile. You murdered your babies nicely, and created a better poem (probably) in the process.
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a croc handbag mabye – pleased to give you a mention Charley and just want to thank you for all the support during our harrowing Harrison days
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Aw, you are welcome, Laura!
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I am going to use the line “hand made to measure for erasure” to motivate me during revisions! The poems told an interesting story. 🙂
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many thanks wnyndollynne – if we can help somebody as we go along our way – as the song goes
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That was awesome. Thanks.
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pearls of wisdom 😉 many thanks ZQ
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What a splendid use for the poems that died trying! Love it!
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Died trying – love it!
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Glad you visited my paintings so I found your words! have enjoyed it all and will be back for more. Especially loved this one as I have a plan to take a lot of my old pastels that didn’t really work out in the rain and wash them off to start again!
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Interesting project – a wash for pastels. Thank you for your very appreciative words Lindy –
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