Pearly gates

wayfaring is a muted affair
 to lift the canopy and vanish
 after fattening lambs
the city rolled into dusty tracks
 feeling foolish then in sudden rain
 watering-can clouds caught me
in flagrante without a care 

Helios' arrival was opportune
 two pawns  taken en passant
 vain weathercock warriors
 canting as a homespun queen

An erasure poem of my own drafts  – Charley (Life in Portofino) calls his drafts sleeping alligators – I wish I’d thought of that so with a nod to his wordsmithing, this category is called ‘crocks on the rocks’
Today,  1st of July is a fresh start and am putting these mouldering lines on the shelf of Poetry Pantry #409

38 thoughts on “Pearly gates

  1. You are brave to trash them. I tend to let them age like an old wine hoping that even if they don’t stand by themselves they might be the basis for later thoughts…but kill them? Oh no!

    1. once the acetobacter gets in, they are only good for the drain – or a salvage job with erasure poetry as here!

    1. I think I will do these ‘crocks on the rocks’ as a regular clean up though I should back up too!

  2. The upcycling was definitely worth it – a fine erasure poem.

    Of long-forgotten and rediscovered drafts, sometimes I wonder what planet I was on when I wrote ‘that’…and then press delete.

    Anna :o]

    1. Thank you – felt good to end up with a poem after the rub outs

      P.s. Drafts are a bit like old boyfriends and the ‘what on earth did I see in him” feeling

  3. Such a stunning erasure poem, Laura! 💜 Especially like: “wayfaring is a muted affair to lift the canopy and vanish after fattening lambs.” 💜

    Strangely I have never been able to keep drafts.. I just ramble on and click publish! 😉

  4. New beginnings often require sacrifice, reshaping, letting go… of one thing in order to reach for another. Every now and again, the re-crafting gives something precious. It’s one of the things I like about editing, redacting, remaking.

    1. Many thanks Audrey – they are basking now having finally seen daylight!

  5. Those 3 that survived – ‘handmade to measure for erasure’- sure did well in the end. Brave of you to be able to trash and cut work you’ve discarded. I hold onto mine …(I’m not sure to what end).

  6. I truly enjoy this! And thank you for the credit… always nice to discover I’ve done something worthwhile. You murdered your babies nicely, and created a better poem (probably) in the process.

    1. a croc handbag mabye – pleased to give you a mention Charley and just want to thank you for all the support during our harrowing Harrison days

  7. I am going to use the line “hand made to measure for erasure” to motivate me during revisions! The poems told an interesting story. 🙂

    1. many thanks wnyndollynne – if we can help somebody as we go along our way – as the song goes

  8. Glad you visited my paintings so I found your words! have enjoyed it all and will be back for more. Especially loved this one as I have a plan to take a lot of my old pastels that didn’t really work out in the rain and wash them off to start again!

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