PoetryPix
depictions by the rule of thirds; descriptions mostly freestyle words
mind the gap
you with such profound presence have surely gone
an imprint of invisibility remains at large
a vacancy so vivid, so self-evident
it has punched the air
did you leave that way, one fisted,
one hand waving free?*
mimicking the gap, my mouth agape
memories a broken mosaic, missing parts
stories told so many times the lines jumble
with ballads that fifties folk once passed around
some scenes though still freshly painted as a warm September
martin and swallow swarms at the brink of the sea
scything late-hatched insects that cloud our heads
We circled with the birds, dizzied by dashing displays
and in those spellbound moments, your soul migrated
returning home was almost aftermath, a brief touch down
before you found your way – I’m making headway now
through the hole, a crawl to the other side of beyond
– of course, I’ll mind the gap
*a nod to Dylan’s ‘Tambourine Man’ was just so apt
A last poem until I make my move and joining others in Poetry Pantry
21 Comments on “mind the gap”
MY OTHER BLOG
This is very beautiful. Such imagery.
LikeLike
thank you Jude -some memories still so very visual
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with Heyjude – beautiful writing. Making headway is a good thing!
LikeLike
yes it is time I too left – thank you for your appreciation mary
LikeLike
There is such deep and intense emotion in this poem that is palpable and compels the reader to feel with the depths of his soul! I clutched my heart at; “mimicking the gap, my mouth agape memories a broken mosaic,”.. sending love and light your way, Laura 💜💜
LikeLike
receiving them loud and clear with thanks Sanaa
LikeLike
The thought of a gap is something that works so well… I can feel an inner turmoil projected against a backdrop of nature… maybe seeing it might close some gaps
LikeLike
About to see it as I make my move this week
LikeLike
Terrific imagery of the last journey…
did you leave that way, one fisted,
one hand waving free?… beautiful writing!
LikeLike
Thank you
LikeLike
I like the way you have taken an everyday phrase familiar to Londoners and given it a new meaning, Laura. ‘Mind the gap’ can be a warning or a gentle reminder, so the title seemed ambiguous until I had read and digested the whole poem, especially the lines:
‘an imprint of invisibility remains at large
a vacancy so vivid, so self-evident
it has punched the air’.
The final stanza is especially moving and I appreciate the wordplay in:
‘… a brief touch down
before you found your way – I’m making headway now
through the hole…’
Is this really your last poem? I hope not. Much love x
LikeLike
Just last poem as I leave London and hence will mind the gap Kim
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
loved the lovely and intense imagery here.
i feel like i have been crawling around in a hole lately, and i can relate to this. 🙂
LikeLike
Looking for a way out and now have found it
LikeLike
a vacancy so vivid… it punches the air. – and you are on a similar journey? Last poem… until ?
Awesome writing.
LikeLike
Until I settle in new home and get connected
LikeLike
Startling images – and yet so right. All the very best for your journeying and new locale.
LikeLike
thank you Rosemary – a pilgrim soul finding her way alone
LikeLike
Are you remembering the day when you wrote – something like – an achievement to walk the prom – which was mystifying when I read it. But made sadly clear in your following posts.
LikeLike
almost Diana – a walk we made to Pegwell Bay – yes an achievement too and mesmerised by migrating swallows
LikeLike