I murmur. “She inspired the splendid thought
Which points to heaven and teaches honest eyes
All worldly lures and winnings to despise:”
Sonnet XII
There is no word quite so unreal
As perfect outside paradise, for I
A mortal maid full-fleshed, shall die
Pure skin will pock like orange peel
Age strips bare the gold ideal
And all fine words do speechify.
Declaim some truth and dignify
This form with lines much less genteel
You crave the laurels in my name
More than bedded breath of woman
Secrete some sex in female frame
Here down on earth, you’re fallen man:
My aura is not saint nor shame
Come cool your ardour with this fan
Being playful with a Petrarch sonnet (ABBAABBACDCDCD) and his idolisation of Laura de Noves, as Frank prompts us to compose a poem in 14 lines- as perfection of sonnet but not necessarily so!! [Image source - Petrarch and Laura - Ashmoleum Museum ]
Good response to Sonnet XII and observation: “You crave the laurels in my name
More than bedded breath of woman”.
I like your offering of the fan at the end to cool the ardour of the fallen man.
I’ve given Laura a voice to express what she thinks of all that ideal love 😉
Oh I love the irony in this response… sometimes the sweetness of a sonnet can be a bit overwhelming and you need to bite back a bit. Maybe this answer is the reason for Sonnet 130… sooner or later the old man matured.
and first his ideal love died (of the Black Death no less!) but still he kept the image as his Muse
Oh, well done! I love how you’ve given Laura a voice, and how she reminds him (us) that she was (pockmarked) flesh and blood, not some idealized version of a woman.
thank you Merril – Laura must have found it tiresome being on the receiving end of all that distant ‘hands off’ adoration –
It’s so much fun playing with words and sonnets, Laura, and I love that you’ve written yours from the perspective of a not so perfect mortal Laura. I remember seeing that picture at the Ashmolean. Such gorgeous colours in it – and I was interested to see what Petrarch and Laura looked like, if it is indeed a true likeness. I smiled at these lines:
‘And all fine words do speechify.
Declaim some truth and dignify
This form with lines much less genteel’.
It also reminds me of The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd by Sir Walter Raleigh. 😉
it was fun to do and came quite naturally perhaps because his Muse and I share the same name and someone gave me Petrarch sonnets to read some years ago –
I like the Raleigh reference – thank you
Nice job–wow, it is sonnet city out here on the trail tonight. I even wrote one, prefaced by twin tankas. Your piece captures the classic feel of the form.
yes sonnets abound but I was surprised by my own attempt down that path
“My aura is not saint nor shame
Come cool your ardour with this fan”
Oh, yes. I love this rebuff
not quite rebuff -more trying to help Petrarch see more clearly 😉
There is such empowering in, “My aura is not saint nor shame”
thank you
neither saint nor shame…exactly. (K)
the old split personified by the two Marys
Masterful word play!
thank you Bev – I struggle with rhyme let alone strict form as well 🙂
So good and so witty – loved the pun on ‘…Secrete some sex in female frame’ and a great earthy reply to Petrarch’s overwrought highfalutin-ness.
well-said Peter – have not heard ‘high falutin’ for a long time (had to search out the derivation – prob high fluting – too much playing on the high notes perhaps?!)
kaykuala
My aura is not saint nor shame
Come cool your ardour with this fan
Agreed Laura, an invitingly friendly gesture playfully extended
Hank
a double entendre gesture no less
I really like your first line… There is no word quite so unreal As perfect outside paradise,
The reality of your poem shows how true this is, and yet people spend a lifetime trying to achieve and maintain perfection… How foolish! In the end it all goes up in smoke!!
thank you – I worked hard on that couplet
ideal love is all about perfection otherwise it would not be ideal but real but then its aim is poetry more than courtship
I love that … love is poetry… yes it is!
You fabulous woman! You write with such bite, Laura.
Laura had teeth! Wonderful comment – thanks Tish ❤
I also liked “my aura is not saint or shame.” Soooo tired of the madonna/prostitute thing
Very clever (and sadly) timely.
not quite as fixed though as 14th century Italy or France!
I would have thought of this exact image even if you didn’t show it! I agree 100% with Tish! 🙂 xoxo
ah many thanks Marina ❤
😘❤