I, like an ingénue, tipped off
guard by kisses that belonged with
her. For sanctity eclipses even
beauty. And still we wrote
clean lines in dust
from faith so blind, disputing
rust is age decay

I, like an Icarus, iconoclast of
guardian laws. Falling from love
heroically, forever trading faith for 
beauty. Senseless sensation
cleansed by your forgiving kiss and
from such highfalutin airs
rusticating happily in exile

35 thoughts on “I, like”

1. Grandiose, in a super oratory fashion, like a Roman emperor at the end of his reign, succumbed to a love that trades but never compromises….what superb lines, patterns in these two stanzas of yours…Icarus has never been better referred to..

   1. that reads like a poem Ain – thank you for that wonderful feedback

      1. Sorry, that was ‘succumbed’ of course, thank you.

         1. I figured but since you mention it will make the correction

2. Oh.. I may have deleted my comment, if not here is something again:

   That second stanza using the Icarus metaphor, especially against that false hope when disputing that rust is age decay. Love forever has something in common with the hubris is flying to close to the sun.

   1. a very nice observation on love!

3. Mesmerizing. I like the way you reworked the line with derivatives (hadn’t thought of that)…. and the voice, so poised. The use of “highfalutin” in a poem made my day as well.

   1. I like the notion of a poised voice Mish – thank you

4. Laura, as always I am awed by your polished and superbly controlled writing. The contrast in the two stanzas is masterly.

   1. many thanks for your feedback and I’m glad you noted some contrast as was not sure the two stanzas had enough of a relationship!

      1. You are so welcome.

5. I love that Icarus metaphor, and the expansion of words in the second stanza. It’s very sophisticated writing.

   1. thank you for such heartening feedback Sarah

6. Seamless polished compositions, Laura. I like how you used derivatives in the 2nd stanza. To be where one is best-suited, even in exile, is a happy exile indeed.

   1. many thanks Lisa – the derivatives were even more challenging fun

      1. I bet they were. You’re very welcome.

7. My goodness you’re such a hard act to follow Laura!
   ‘rusticating happily in exile’ Wonderful ☺️

   1. thank you so much Christine

8. This is nice, Laura. From experience, most times it is hard to from love.
   I put your credit on after you visited, I had looked for it earlier but missed it.
   I think it’s the first line, under a photo or saying, etc.
   ..

   1. yes the prompt did not emphasise that enough but its courtesy

9. Nice one Laura. You turned up the heat in Verse 2

   Much💖love

   1. many thanks Gillena

10. Laura, I love the way, in the 2nd stanza, you expanded upon the root words of the phrase. 🫶🏼 Falling from love heroically, forever trading faith for beauty.” Wonderful write my friend! 🙂✌🏼

    1. thank you Rob for your appreciation

11. I like this very much, Laura! Superb use of enjambment coupled with echoing of the poet’s style, and mythology! And I agree with Rob about the expansion on the root words. I especially love the lines:
    …And still we wrote
    clean lines in dust’
    and
    ‘Senseless sensation
    cleansed by your forgiving kiss…’

    1. glad you picked the clean lines line Kim – and thank you

12. This is wonderful, Laura. 🙂 I’ve borrowed the idea of expanding the first words from your poem, thanks.

    1. bravo! seeing the given words as derivatives really helps expand our imagination

13. I’m speechless…it’s too good for words. I enjoyed the prompt…mine is just one stanza.

    1. thank you that and for joining in – left you a comment on your poem but not sure it registered as have been having problems with wordpress un logging me in!

       1. I did get it, thank you! There seems to be an upsurge in WP “Glitches”…very annoying/frustrating!

14. “Disputing rust is age decay.” I loved this line! Very nice piece.

    1. thank you Christopher

15. I pondered this for quire a while… Love vs Sun. Certainly can get burned by both if we aren’t careful…

    1. an interesting take on the poem – thank you Margaret

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