Three ways to miss you

Published on by Laura Bloomsbury

Dedicated to a friend and teacher, Trevor
“A good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others.” ~ Ataturk

(1) 
After all, you did not even stay to watch
the century turn so "see you Thursday"
became a one-and-only broken promise
stretching to eternity. It was the suddenness
the shockwave. "Too soon" we cried
with never grief enough expressed
to fill that hollow sounding emptiness.
I'd seen you turn the corner; a vanishing
as-if-by-magic act. Even premonition?
Just that brief appearance after, cold as the slab
a last lesson perhaps, proof perfect
that the body is this husk
you often spoke of. 

(ii) 
Long after our tears stopped
after the accommodation down these years 
your virtues surfaced, bobbing up from the deep
down memories. Or did you leave behind
a mirror, reflecting not the form we craved
but all  those hand-me-downs in humour
musical merits, patient practices
a litany of loving kindnesses
and yet those gifts of transmission
barely unwrapped 
rarely thanked
and bit by bit swallowed
acknowledged 
with shame

(iii)  After the funeral, you came walking past
a glance at my window but still no wave
no stopping by. Simply carried on
too far ahead to catch up, I stood still
in that dream, and stood and stood long after
And only now have understood
after another's October departure
teacher; husband; forever friends together there. *
Such relief in that, and these days always here.
Remembrance is reinvention
I move through all the teachings
relish all the loving that has been bestowed.

*Trevor died October 13th 1999; Martin, October 7th 2008

For my MTB prompt “Let’s lament without the lachrymose” we are writing an Elegy for a person or persons which comprises all 3 aspects in turn of lament, praise and consolation

31 thoughts on “Three ways to miss you”

  1. Beautiful. English, seems the language shared, but then some moments, no. Some meanings missed. Maybe I’ll forgive myself for not understanding everything – rather, move along. Like digging in the dirt in search, more hope, of finding gems – then, and it’s always a surprise, you find one, shining more as you dust it off and raise your hand in the air, “here, here is one.” And you’re all glad for the labor spent.

    My verbose path to say, well written Laura. Beautiful.

    1. Are we as Wilde said divided by a common language – no Neil but we may express differently and so thank you for digging and dusting off here

  3. Oh, my heart, Laura, is breaking as I read your three ways to miss you. I love the opening lines, especially ‘so “see you Thursday” / became a one-and-only broken promise /stretching to eternity’ – a sudden shockwave indeed. I can’t imagine watching someone turn a corner for the last time. I also love:
    ‘your virtues surfaced, bobbing up from the deep
    down memories’.

  4. “Or did you leave behind
    a mirror”–yes! the best do, although I would never have known how to put that idea into words. And no, we never thanked them enough; how could we? (K)

  5. Laura no matter how we see the signs, the end is always a surprise. Those last two lines are the best consolation I think. ❤

  6. So heartbreaking and I agree with Kim, the only missed promise was an especially strong message when a death comes so unexpectedly… and somehow they are still there somewhere even though we just imagine.

  7. Only the lost can offer “proof perfect” – perfected by death – what I love about elegy is the conversation the poet has with that perfect proof, it holds thought to the long gaze, toward where “all has been bestowed.” Lots of love here too – as it’s said, death ends the person but not the relationship.

  10. Remembrance is reinvention … I will carry this line with me, it will sustain me, renew me. Thank you for an amazing elegy, and an amazing challenge.

  11. Many of your lines resonate with me, especially

    “a one-and-only broken promise
    stretching to eternity”

    “that the body is this husk
    you often spoke of”

    “Simply carried on
    too far ahead to catch up, I stood still
    in that dream, and stood and stood long after”

    ❤️

  12. Wow, Laura this is a stunning representation for your prompt. Each segment brings forth a story, a lesson through reflection. An elegy full of wisdom and love.

    1. Much appreciation Mish for feedback on the form I wrote here – my first time but the 3 ways are like the distinguishing process of grief

  13. The broken promise of verse1 is poignant.
    This is a tear-jerker

    Much🖤love

  14. These lines are very moving, Laura. I think they speak for many of us and certainly merit being seen and read by many. (This poem could in fact have had an honoured place in the recent anthology ‘Leaving’).

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