An unbundling

Published on by Laura Bloomsbury

“And sentiment, fruitless as dust in cupped hands”

And    
     is so very inclusive. A knotted ampersand
     joined up in a glyph,  like the also you of me.
     Trailing that sense of the furthermore, a dreamer's                                   

sentiment
      out from the soul's depths. At times a shallow ripple
      a belief it's just fast food for valentines on the go.
      I keepsake you still in 3-D though any sense of we is
                                   
fruitless.     
     In this very singular afterlife, the point is taken, 
     a cornucopia mostly empty, trees quite often bare.
     But these winters have had the plumiest blues
                            
as
     what? What shall I liken them to? Those eyes
     from a Cossack genepool, still with a hint of pillage?
      Since then you've passed, in the way that

dust
     settles after footfalls across forsaken floors. I dredge 
     imagery, pluck memory specks from air. Smutty fragments
     went with your ashes clean out to sea. Here I remain

in
     love of sorts, with a rakish ghost What matters most
     is within,  interiors that can shut out the dark, since fatalism
     has become so fashionable.  There's a shell

cupped
     to my ear for listening to the rub of tides over stone.
    Its a concave bell, a breathing sea exhaling ozone
    for our inspiration. Holding me hollow without

hands. 
     And so I help others picking over tidelines. 
     We write our names at the waters edge and clap
     each one that's washed away. A passing ovation.

Epigraph line from my poem “My Move“, unbundled as acrostic alongside the word definitions and associations for my MTB prompt: Taking a Fine Line Down

34 thoughts on “An unbundling”

  1. In this “unbundling” of grief and loss, Laura, I love how your use of enjambment in the acrostic speaks to the pouring out of “sentiment/out of the soul’s depths.” This and every device of rhetoric is a lyrical outpouring of what death means to the living even as we speak to the dead, as in this line which is so very poignant: “I keepsake you still in 3-D . . . .”

  2. I love the way you unbundled the line, Laura, especially the ‘knotted ampersand joined up in a glyph’ and the clever use of enjambment. I also love:

    ‘dust
         settles after footfalls across forsaken floors. I dredge
         imagery, pluck memory specks from air…’

  3. The unbundling using enjambment is another lesson in how to write such poems. The opening line as well as the closing line deserve chef’s kiss! ❤️

  4. There is so much to love in your wordplay, Laura. This poem feels personal as if you are showing me the petals of a flower that make up your personality. Exquisite!

  6. Rich and full of metaphor. I was very much inspired by your formatting and enjambment for my own write though I think mine is not so poetically successful. I was at least happy to get some flowing narrative through it. Cool prompt that I may return to again. Thanks 👏

  11. I know widowhood, so I relate to this and your source poem very well. It’s a journey, isn’t it? Interesting to see how your journey has evolved in five years. It seems to me you’re traversing it well.

  12. I am in awe of this poem, Laura. You dove deep into intriguing places of the mind and heart. The links you created between each stanza/definition took this piece to another level of wonderful!

    Thank you for sharing this form. I truly enjoyed the challenge.

  13. Hello Laura. Thanks for the prompt. Your An unbundling is a personal poem I’m so happy you shared with me. A resonant poem deserving of a standing ovation for your fine line that literally makes me go “wow” —amazing! Love the poem in its entirety. Especially for the succinct lines, 

    “the also you of me” 

    “A passing ovation” Thank you. 

  14. A gorgeous poem, Laura ~~ the journey gentle ~ “And so I help others picking over tidelines.We write our names at the waters edge and clapeach one that’s washed away” ~ breathtaking.

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