“And sentiment, fruitless as dust in cupped hands”
And
is so very inclusive. A knotted ampersand
joined up in a glyph, like the also you of me.
Trailing that sense of the furthermore, a dreamer's
sentiment
out from the soul's depths. At times a shallow ripple
a belief it's just fast food for valentines on the go.
I keepsake you still in 3-D though any sense of we is
fruitless.
In this very singular afterlife, the point is taken,
a cornucopia mostly empty, trees quite often bare.
But these winters have had the plumiest blues
as
what? What shall I liken them to? Those eyes
from a Cossack genepool, still with a hint of pillage?
Since then you've passed, in the way that
dust
settles after footfalls across forsaken floors. I dredge
imagery, pluck memory specks from air. Smutty fragments
went with your ashes clean out to sea. Here I remain
in
love of sorts, with a rakish ghost What matters most
is within, interiors that can shut out the dark, since fatalism
has become so fashionable. There's a shell
cupped
to my ear for listening to the rub of tides over stone.
Its a concave bell, a breathing sea exhaling ozone
for our inspiration. Holding me hollow without
hands.
And so I help others picking over tidelines.
We write our names at the waters edge and clap
each one that's washed away. A passing ovation.
Epigraph line from my poem “My Move“, unbundled as acrostic alongside the word definitions and associations for my MTB prompt: Taking a Fine Line Down
In this “unbundling” of grief and loss, Laura, I love how your use of enjambment in the acrostic speaks to the pouring out of “sentiment/out of the soul’s depths.” This and every device of rhetoric is a lyrical outpouring of what death means to the living even as we speak to the dead, as in this line which is so very poignant: “I keepsake you still in 3-D . . . .”
thank you Dora for such sensitive feedback and critique- the enjambment did turn the poem into more of an outpouring
I love the way you unbundled the line, Laura, especially the ‘knotted ampersand joined up in a glyph’ and the clever use of enjambment. I also love:
‘dust
settles after footfalls across forsaken floors. I dredge
imagery, pluck memory specks from air…’
many thanks for your appreciation Kim
You’re always welcome, Laura.
The unbundling using enjambment is another lesson in how to write such poems. The opening line as well as the closing line deserve chef’s kiss! ❤️