For R/B before love was fully grasped
Between the falling in love parts
there are some who adjure
through the craquelure
with their forlorn hopes and hearts
like ours, beating too fast
Now if it comes to that
I see you still, with a very young cat
such an orphaned ménage
in that underground age
when over the threshold I strolled.
Fresh flushed and green like the Mexican grass
as the tempo flowed and the compass
spun. Where the flowers grew
in pure acid hues
Madcap to Maidenhead, that very first trip
when young ones were just so dreamy and hip
eyes of sky blue and some signalling stars
- yet the future would never be ours
When it comes to the falling from love part
what else could it be but departure
some separate ways, the simplest finale
we said 'sayonara', a feeling of weary.
Two transient drifters caught in a cleft.
Why now do I feel so bereft?
- Maidenhead – a London suburb by the river Thames
For Lisa’s Open Link Night and her optional prompt of a Phyllis Bramson mixed media painting “Between the Falling in Love Parts” the title of which I’ve incorporated into the the first line of this poem
Lovely piece, Laura 👍☺️
thank you for your appreciation
You’re most welcome ☺️
The imagery you chose to use is as dreamy as the Bramsom painting, Laura, and with a built-in forlornness. The lines that begin with “Where the flowers grew” are especially beautiful.
thank you Dora- the imagery is half imagined, the forlornness not so!
I haven’t been to Maidenhead in years, but it’s as good a place as any to make a ‘first madcap trip’. I love the wistful closing couplet.
thank you Kim – it was an adventitious jumping off point for first love
Always a pleasure, Laura. Mine was Streatham ice rink!
the height of romance 😉
Laura, I like how you used the title of the painting in the first line and then later shifted the line with from. This line is so potent and alive:
“Fresh flushed and green like the Mexican grass / as the tempo flowed and the compass / spun”
thank you Lisa and for the prompt to help me back into writing after a bit of a break
❤ You are more than welcome. Glad to see you back on the trail again.
thanks for your encouragement Lisa
I really like the lines Lisa quoted, but the last two lines really hit me–the what ifs that can never be. (K)
many thanks Kerfe – regrets, regrets!
Captures a moment and a time, love those rhymes…JIM
thanks for noticing – the rhymes began forcing themselves into the poem so I had to continue though I’m not a dedicated rhymer
The wistfulness of this is palpable, but then even separation by choice has the potential to leave one bereft, as you say.
thank you Ken for such sensitive feedback
I enjoyed the rhymes, near and off too. That gave me a feeling of a sing-song romance that I wouldn’t have associated with Maidenhead. Not that I think I’ve ever been there and my times around London never felt romantic either. You tell a vivid tale of rush and regret, nicely done Laura 👏
I like your synopsis of rush and regret – nice way of putting it.
p.s. Maidenhead was once renowned for its louche reputation as a getaway for illicit lovers at Skindels hotel – before my time?!
The world felt a lot smaller then. It all starts ‘around the back of the bike sheds’!
oh I am loving those between the falling in love parts entries, yours too is so beautiful and of course I love it because I also love cats.
yes I’ve enjoyed reading other’s poems too – not because of cats though!
We said ‘sayonara’ a feeling of weary!
A fallout is going separate ways which is a common outcome! Great lines, love it!
Hank
thanks Hank
It is a treat to read your rhyming poetry for you don’t do it too often. The wistful tone makes it even more beautiful.
It was a struggle – still needs some work but thank you for the encouragement
My pleasure, Laura.