Grief is a leaf

On 7.10.18 my husband Martin died suddenly – am re-posting a poem I published almost to the day last year which was in response to the  mass shootings in Vegas – today it is purely personal – but then it always is 

I’m not sure I can howl
though certainly there are dread events
disembowling enough to summon a Munch scream
Lord please spare me that

horror piles up in numbers
dates, head counts, ages
and then little by little the faces appear
life-like captures that froze time into a smile
en famille, festive fun, ignorant of what is to come

what terms then can we come to?
to make peace with the unfathomable?
a pact with the devil?
Lord please spare us that

dare I say grief is akin to an October leaf?
a brisk detachment when the wind lets loose
that sudden and brutal impact with earth
the stalk forever reaching back

now multiply that in knee-deep leaf litter
are we any wiser in comprehension?
are we any closer to each other?

Joining up with others in the Poetry Pantry today as there is comfort in words and something of a panacea in poetry