Grief is a leaf

On 7.10.18 my husband Martin died suddenly – am re-posting a poem I published almost to the day last year which was in response to the  mass shootings in Vegas – today it is purely personal – but then it always is 

I’m not sure I can howl
though certainly there are dread events
disembowling enough to summon a Munch scream
Lord please spare me that

horror piles up in numbers
dates, head counts, ages
and then little by little the faces appear
life-like captures that froze time into a smile
en famille, festive fun, ignorant of what is to come

what terms then can we come to?
to make peace with the unfathomable?
a pact with the devil?
Lord please spare us that

dare I say grief is akin to an October leaf?
a brisk detachment when the wind lets loose
that sudden and brutal impact with earth
the stalk forever reaching back

now multiply that in knee-deep leaf litter
are we any wiser in comprehension?
are we any closer to each other?

Joining up with others in the Poetry Pantry today as there is comfort in words and something of a panacea in poetry

 

 

40 comments

  1. Laura, I am so terribly sorry for your sudden loss. An even harder one when it is sudden and unexpected, though death is never anything but tragic. We never know when life will change within an instant. I was glad to see your name in the Pantry, and am even more so now, thankful you came to us for some comfort in your time of grief. That October leaf, the stalk forever reaching back, speaks to me. Take care, Laura……….keep writing your way through.

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  2. I truly am sorry about your husband. I think that sudden and unexpected deaths must be the worst. No time to say everything one would want to say. It IS hard to make peace with the unfathomable. If we are fortunate, we find a way. Grief is definitely akin to October’s leaf. October leads to winter. Again, my condolences to you.

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  3. Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, Laura.
    Your experience of grief and its rendering is heart-wrenching — the detachment of the leaf is felt, and that stalk forever reaching back makes for a vivid picture of loss. Your words are beautiful as ever.
    I wish you lots of strength and comfort during this time. Thinking of you.
    xoxo Anmol

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock! The poets will virtually hold your hand through this harrowing time
    ‘ that sudden and brutal impact with earth’
    Take care.

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  5. Laura- my heart reaches out to you with kindness and love. There is always a sense of things left unsaid when someone does unexpectedly and a curious shade of blue surrounds each thought. May you find comfort when your words spill onto the page.

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  6. ‘dare I say grief is akin to an October leaf?
    a brisk detachment when the wind lets loose’

    It is indeed whether we were expecting it or not the death of a loved ones brings us to our knees. I have yet to get off of mine for long….I offer you a hand and a heart and much love to you dear friend.

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