On 7.10.18 my husband Martin died suddenly – am re-posting a poem I published almost to the day last year which was in response to the mass shootings in Vegas – today it is purely personal – but then it always is
I’m not sure I can howl
though certainly there are dread events
disembowling enough to summon a Munch scream
Lord please spare me that
horror piles up in numbers
dates, head counts, ages
and then little by little the faces appear
life-like captures that froze time into a smile
en famille, festive fun, ignorant of what is to come
what terms then can we come to?
to make peace with the unfathomable?
a pact with the devil?
Lord please spare us that
dare I say grief is akin to an October leaf?
a brisk detachment when the wind lets loose
that sudden and brutal impact with earth
the stalk forever reaching back
now multiply that in knee-deep leaf litter
are we any wiser in comprehension?
are we any closer to each other?
Joining up with others in the Poetry Pantry today as there is comfort in words and something of a panacea in poetry
42 thoughts on “Grief is a leaf”
I so love the thought of how October leaf is like grief…
I think this little poem expresses a bit of the same sentiment.
Thank you – the analogy goes so much deeper than that now
The last stanza says it all and asks it all? Are we any closer to each other? No. I am afraid we are not. A heart wrenching poem.
Felt compelled to re-post this as had no idea then how predictive the feeling would be
Each way is hard, but that seems particularly harsh.
The wrench is hardest for those of us left – thank you Diana
Sigh….this is beautiful!
I am so sorry for your loss, Laura 😥 this is a deeply touching poem.
Thank you for your kind words Sanaa
Laura, I am so terribly sorry for your sudden loss. An even harder one when it is sudden and unexpected, though death is never anything but tragic. We never know when life will change within an instant. I was glad to see your name in the Pantry, and am even more so now, thankful you came to us for some comfort in your time of grief. That October leaf, the stalk forever reaching back, speaks to me. Take care, Laura……….keep writing your way through.
‘thankful you came to us for some comfort in your time of grief’ – spot on Sherry – goes to show how deep our virtual attachments run – thank you for being there
I truly am sorry about your husband. I think that sudden and unexpected deaths must be the worst. No time to say everything one would want to say. It IS hard to make peace with the unfathomable. If we are fortunate, we find a way. Grief is definitely akin to October’s leaf. October leads to winter. Again, my condolences to you.
Found much comfort in your words Mary – I really appreciated them.
nice to know
A very poignant poem. I have been thinking of you and will continue to keep you in my thoughts. Sending love…
you understand and care so well – not just because of some of the similarities. Thank you
Heartfelt sentiments expressing loss. Thoughts are with you,
your words are much appreciated Eileen
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, Laura.
Your experience of grief and its rendering is heart-wrenching — the detachment of the leaf is felt, and that stalk forever reaching back makes for a vivid picture of loss. Your words are beautiful as ever.
I wish you lots of strength and comfort during this time. Thinking of you.
thank you Anmol for a very heart felt message – x
I’m so sorry to read this sad news, and for your loss, and my thoughts are with you. Your poem is particulary poignant now that it has a very personal meaning.
It’s very nice of you Elaine to stop by with your condolence message – how prescient this poem has become!
I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock! The poets will virtually hold your hand through this harrowing time
‘ that sudden and brutal impact with earth’
I need that hand holding Cressida – what a lovely message – thank you!
I am so sorry Laura, what a beautiful and poignant piece! May you find comfort in your memories and your creativity!
thank you so much – yes I do find a way of grieving in the creative outlet
Laura- my heart reaches out to you with kindness and love. There is always a sense of things left unsaid when someone does unexpectedly and a curious shade of blue surrounds each thought. May you find comfort when your words spill onto the page.
“a curious shade of blue surrounds each thought.” – perfectly said and poetically! Thank you for a wonderful comment
Are you familiar with Joan Didion? If not, I recommend The Year of Magical Thinking. An amazing venture into her mind after her husband died. She also lost her daughter.
thank you for the suggested reading
My pleasure Laura.
‘dare I say grief is akin to an October leaf?
a brisk detachment when the wind lets loose’
It is indeed whether we were expecting it or not the death of a loved ones brings us to our knees. I have yet to get off of mine for long….I offer you a hand and a heart and much love to you dear friend.
hard to stand and a need for prayer – our knees were made for such times as these. I know your loss is still felt so strongly so appreciate you words Donna
This is beautiful and heart-wrenching, all the more so knowing it is personal now. My thoughts continue to be with you, Laura.
thank you Robin – how blessed we are not to have foresight!
Unfathomable…your sudden loss and the loss of many and the aftermath(s) The October leaf and the piles of leaves…you link the parallels so well. Take care.
And yet again with the Pittsburgh synagogue murders the poem comes full circle – glad my Jewish husband is not able to know of this – thank you for your appreciation and understanding Janice
The shock of sudden loss can be so very difficult like “a brisk detachment when the wind lets loose.” I am sorry for your loss. I hope that writing will help you through the grieving process. Take care.
I thank you Ali for your kind words and wishes – writing does help with the overflow of it all – leaves something more manageable perhaps though always there are those memories that pop back and take me unawares
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