This unknown, unheard, novelty of word
stops me dead before the full point. For breath
to reprise the two-toned notes like a bird
at sunrise. Short – then long — upon the tongue
un skips quickly between split rictus lips
to merge as one. The magic word is sung
over oceans, channels, beyond the bay
where ships seek shelter, down the deepest sound
of elemental water. In this way
liminal beings rise as sprites upon
earth, torn between mankind and wave of sea
without soul to rest eternity on
Undine (ondine alt. sp.) – a category of imaginary elemental beings associated with water and a word I’ve only just encountered in Garlick’s “Poem of Manorbier”:
Hosting this Tuesday's Poetics prompt: "Three from the Welsh-Speaking sea", I chose another poem of of Raymond Garlick's and a list of his tercet rhyme sets to use in our own poetry. Pentameter was an additional optional challenge
PoetryPix 
This is a marvelous painting of words. I think I could hear the cries of sea-gulls rising those sprites from the sea. Being self-quarantined a bit this is a wonderful reminder of what the sea is.
Yes a sea breeze blew though on this one – just what we all need right now
I like the last line about needing a soul to eternally resting upon.
Went with the mythology on that one
I enjoyed your exploration of ‘undine’, Laura, and the idea of water spirits or nymphs. I especially love the way you explore the sound of the word as ‘two-toned notes like a bird / at sunrise’ and as a magic word. I’m attracted to any kind of writing about the sea.
Thank Kim – it was fun exploring both sounds and meaning
Great use of the prompt, using 4/5 choices. This is very good poetry; the prompt did not impede your poetics. I liked the line /down the deepest sound of elemental water/. Living next to Puget Sound, I could dig it.
I very much appreciated your feedback as the main challenge for me was using pre- given rhymes and making it sound fluid and original
I love your use of imagery. Beautiful poem!
Thank you 🙏
There is a mystical atmosphere around your words, almost as if you were calling them forth. Beautiful, Laura.
I certainly tried to 😉
The analogy of “two-toned notes like a bird” with iambic pentameter is superb.
I’m glad you picked up on that & noticed the pentameter – it was a bit of a struggle so many thanks for your words
Interesting prompt and post, Laura! I never heard of the mythological undine before.
It’s a lovely word to work a poem into
any seafarer would love this … an interesting challenge thanks Laura!
Thank you Kate
We humans ahace really battered the earth , ocean everything . Its better we take control of the situation.
true though that is not what the poem is about
What a lovely piece – it flows very naturally, and your line breaks and enjambment are exemplary. The theme is beautiful, timeless. Loved it.
many thanks Sarah – this was an unusual prompt choice for me as I am normally uncomfortable with rhyme – hence I did work hard on those breaks and line slips 🙂
Using some else’s ideas is hard, especially when they turn inevitably in a particular direction. You used them with originality though, and the run on lines are very effective.
astute observations Jane and many thanks for the encouraging comment
🙂
“luminal beings rise as sprites” … great image. Creative write.
the whole concept of Undines helped work the imagination – thanks Bev
magical, like the word (K)
🧜♀️Thank you
Such a gorgeous mystical poem Laura!
thank you Linda – took a break from reality with this one 😉
This page has been open for days on my browser…. for the words – for the image: thank you! xoxo