I hear giddy voices.
Five would-be swimmers
Slap-slapping down the long, stone steps
And just where the orchard turns, their footfall
Deadened. Through summer-long grass,
they zig-zag, snatching at seedheads -- then plop
Into the slow, shallow stream.
Beaks green with weed.
Five silent swimmers.
Inspired by De’s quadrille prompt in 44 words: Stream
Beautiful! I am pleased they took to the water so easily. Your imagery is so evocative, I felt like I was there by the stream watching them 🙂
thanks Ingrid – impressions from observation as have just moved near my daughter and she has duckings
We saw some getting into the canal in Venice on Saturday: the high point of my son’s trip!
I love that slap-slapping, especially. I can hear this whole poem. LOVE the assonance in “beaks green with weed”
the ducks brought out the onomatopoeic in me! thank you too for this refreshing prompt in high summer days
What a delightful scene you have conveyed Laura!
many thanks Linda – am feeling very pastoral!
This is gorgeously rendered, Laura 😀 I love the image “Beaks green with weed.” 💝💝
thanks Sanaa – I had to drop one word from that line and that made all the difference!
Laura, I see them and delight in every bit of your poem.
I aimed for the simply charming so thank you, Lisa
You’re welcome. Simply charming works for me!
After writing a quadrille, and recounting the words, yes, the poems become a shape-shifter. I see the five ducklings painted on a tee shirt worn by a three year old.
from print to a print I guess?!
Gorgeous. Love the sounds of the slip-slapping and the last image of the weed in bills.
keeping the swimmers ID hid until the last 😉
Very sage advice. 😀. Much enjoyed.
I love the scene your words created. I enjoyed every sewcond of it!
aww – thwanks Bev
Enjoyed the playfulness here, I could see them swimming, living the life! 🦆
yes makes a change for me to be so playful in my writing! thank you Tricia
So beautiful portrayed. You really took me there like I could see them walking and hear them talking.
thank you – the sounds important part of the poem
Fine work indeed, Laura. Salute.
And to you kind sir
I love your silent swimmers. A great take on the prompt!
from noisy to silent – – thanks Dwight
Very nice!
Very effective use of imagery and the subtle sibilant alliteration. I enjoyed this little dip back into the world of poetry.
thanks Victoria for taking a dip here and for noticing the alliteration
kaykuala
Love the idea of movements here, Laura! One can picture how the ducks eventually get into the water. Wonderful write, Ma’am!
Hank
many thanks Hank
What a delighful poem! I could see them and hear them ☺️💕
thank you – this is just as I see them
The slap-slapping was great I could hear and see them. So charming!
many thanks – some easy visuals for a change from me
So lovely!!! i want to be there with the ducks. What a beautiful picture you made.
thank you – they would appreciate your big fat can of worms!
😂😂 good point! It might be suicidal!
Superb imagery. Just lovely.
thank you for your appreciation Misky
Oh, I can hear them clearly! Beautiful, Laura!!!
they are charming neighbours and still growing! My daughter’s runner ducklings
…adorable!
Your poetry puts photography to shame, Laura ❤
-David
what a comment David – am so chuffed! thank you
Your words created a happy picture in my mind.
🙂
So beautifully expressed. 🙂
many thanks Amy
Very nice. It is what they do, after all. 🙂
they had to be shown though!
How clever to use ducks, the sounds, their journey, the slow shallow stream … I loved your quadrille.
the prompt was made for ducks!
Love the laid back feel you created so evocatively.
good to hear and makes a change for me
This made me smile! wonderful, I could see it perfectly. (K)
🙂
Nice change of pace from bustling thru the grass, to drifting gently on the water
nicely observed Diana – that is just what I tried to capture