listless as winter
etched so fine
small sneaky fingers
feeling for being
a writhe, a wriggle
that crack, that one
a bold winged creature
Just 44 words for Merril’s quadrille: Shiver
71 thoughts on “chrysalis”
I like the progression in this poem. It’s rather suspenseful.
glad you tuned in to that – thank you
What a wonderful sight that is. Go fly bold winged creature!
an escapist poem to warmer months and winged wonders
It’s an amazing miracle before your eyes. Love your words Laura.
thank you Linda – some recollections from my childhood – the miracle has never left me
Such a wonderful, watchful image you create here, Laura.
that crack, that one
many thanks Merril and for the prompt – this poem took me to a surprising image of shiver
Yes, I’m glad.
Wonderful —- if forgot to read the title before starting to read, and the word that popped up was a chrysalis… love how clear you made it.
I nearly did not call it as is so am pleased you saw so clearly without that prompt
You’ve really captured the tension of that moment of metamorphosis here, Laura!
thanks you Ingrid – I’ve never forgotten that
The whole poem rocks, Laura. I know the exact shade of polished conker-brown. I saw such a crysalis on a walk through the woods about a month ago but didn’t see it until I got home and took a close look at the photos I took. What a wondrous surprise when I did.
thank you for your appreciation Lisa
This is lovely! The pace is just right, despite the word count imposition.
that is so good to hear Jane- the word count can be quite an obstacle as well as a welcome challenge
Lovely style, lovely description, and denouement, even in just 44 words…so nice…the first little stanza just swept me right in…
many thanks Ain for sweeping in to see this little miracle
That first line though…only three words…wonderful, then the conker brown…polished…one KNOWS a story will come here…..lovely!
your feedback is just what the poet needed! many thanks for such encouragement
hope the winge creature is as stunning as your poem.
words cannot even touch those wings but we poets try so thank you for such a hopeful comment
44 gems for this truly bold and beautiful being!
gems indeed are butterflies and moths Marina ❤
…and your words! ❤️
and friends like you!
Awww………. and in reverse! 😉
What a lovely “take” on the challenge. Well done.
thanks Bev – it took me by surprise too
So well described, the birthing of a butterfly! Just lovely. “Listless as winter” what a great line!
thank you Gayle – I feel as listless as a chrysalis in winter!
I get it, Laura! Even our mild winters can sometimes leave me feeling listless.
….that one convulsive shiver….and then birthing! Well, I think many besides caterpillars can relater to this!
yes – the miracles we seek in a mundane world
The style and format brought suspense to the story , each stanza another step closer to the miracle of life. So beautifully rendered.
i appreciate your analysis Mish as you evidently felt what I’d hoped to convey
And a butterfly emerges! Beautifully done Laura!
thank you Dwight
You are welcome!
Oh, I do like how this holds me in its tense grip just to set me as free as that butterfly. Love it!
spot on and succint – thank you for that!
“etched so fine
You’ve created such a lovely narrative–it’s almost proselike in its shape!
and your observant comment made me look again at the shape – a concrete chrysalis poem perhaps 😉
Wondrous transformation cocooned in your quadrille!
cocooned in a quadrille is such a lovely line – it deserves a poem of its own!
Beautiful,progresses like a tale! I wonder which creature it is.. 🙂
your wondering is just what the impatient observer is feeling too!
Some miracles stay with us forever! You recreated it beautifully, Laura.
so true – I have never forgotten such wonders of my childhood
Emerging with a shiver. That was breathtaking, Laura.
thank you Gillena – a bit like a birth – the passing shiver of one world into the next
Beautiful and oh so clever, Laura!
many thanks David – the quadrille form really makes us try!
Absolutely fabulous description of a metamorphosis.
I appreciate your appreciation Misky x
Always a miracle. (K)
You almost hold your breath as you read this, watching the step by step emergence into new being.
what a very nice observation – thank you
I love the sense of wonder and amazement so eloquently captured! Your formatting, too, makes it want to be more than forty four words yet it is the perfect amount. 🙂
the quadrille demands 44 and I could not have stood much more waiting for that wonder and amazement! – thank you very much
I love the suspense of short lines in this poem, and the wonder of a new birth.
thanks for pointing that out -like breath holding in anticipation
An excellent picture of the pregnancy of unexpected possibility. (BTW, I replied to your comment on my blog asking clarification, if you wish)
excellent use of the word pregnancy, Sabio!
BTW I’ve answered your reply now
And I replied to your reply. Don’t worry, I follow your comments — so no need to tell me here. Also, unlike 95% of poetry blogger, I actually follow comments if I make a challenging statement on someone’s blog. So I’d wager that your replies to commenters here are largely unheard.
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