August Challenge: Jilly’s BOP

Published on by Laura Bloomsbury 
"Smoke gathers round the rim of my coffee cup
remnants of the skirmish in my untouched bowl of cereal
your suitcase sits by the door, the new leather one
not the weary worn green canvas with tags from our trip
to Paris last summer
leaving me with a million 

Forgotten better days and a badly written play 

Blurred words seep through the wall
you on the phone with some unknown"
I'm torn between teary tatters of another novelette
and slippage into the seductive sleep of sheets
exhaling the last bitter gasp of your Gitanes
ash in the tray, a fine dusting of memories
Forgotten better days and a badly written play
cried Havoc throughout our drawn-out duels
agony like the slow tear of plaster from grazed knees
love is hazardous so watch your step on the stairs
a hurried exit and suitcase bumping down each flight
not having to share this room again, not even the air
after all the grief we've shed, I shall grieve afresh

Notes: The task is to complete the second stanza, add the refrain after it and then write the third stanza.  The development of the poem is to present a problem in stanza #1, expand or explore it in stanza #2, and then either resolve or reveal a failed attempt as resolution in the last stanza. 

Joining Jilly’s  ‘August Challenge Half Poem: “Forgotten Days and a badly writtten play (Bop)

10 thoughts on “August Challenge: Jilly’s BOP”

  2. Laura, this is wonderfully done! I especially like “teary tatters of another novelette
    and slippage into the seductive sleep of sheets.” You take prose into the poetic with such eloquence. Marvelous!

    1. Lovely reassuring comment Jilly as tried to stay in keeping with these fine first words of yours

  4. Very nice! I love the sensory experience of the final stanza, the pain of a plaster being removed and the bumping of the suitcase down the steps.

    1. Thanks for your observations – had not seen it as quite so audible!

  5. Great collaboration. I especially like “love is hazardous so watch your step on the stairs”. A little warning and a tumble if they aren’t careful.

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