PoetryPix
depictions by the rule of thirds; descriptions mostly freestyle words
Peace puzzle
After the soldiers decamped
dancing girls cried, lost their footing
on the bridge’s fading tempo of a two-step
Arriving high on reprieve
they’d drink down to dumbfound dregs
puzzled by the lull, the way good wine spoiled
when sailing ships were idled by doldrums
the dVerse 44 word quadrille is always a challenge and this week Mish has also pozed it as a Puzzle
11 Comments on “Peace puzzle”
My Japanesque Garden
Well……I’m not sure I’m taking away the “meaning” you meant to convey…but isn’t that the truth of writing? Once it’s penned, the reader is in control – in a way. I’m thinking of, for example, the Viet Nam war when all the soldiers left and the women of the villages were left behind, some with children, some expecting. I suppose it was this way in WW II as well. Or that is the stereo-type of war? What is left behind from war? On either side of the fight?
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one is always searching for what the writer meant – the reader takes what they can figure for themselves. That is the puzzle 😉
Perhaps it is also about how vividly focused life becomes under war conditions and how soldiers have to adapt to the extreme contrasts of leave and the front line
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Could be some political ramifications with the drinking of bad wine…. Seems to be always sour and seldom uplifting!
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doubt they drank it but they may have felt like that
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Nice phrase: “bridge’s fading tempo of a two-step”
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evocative the sound of fading feet – thanks for the appreciation Frank
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I see this as the aftermath of wars…. when they have left the dancing girls and are going home. I guess they always leave something…
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memories on both sides
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and maybe a child here and there.
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I love the alliteration in this line, especially:
“they’d drink down to dumbfound dregs”
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I always find room for alliteration even when confined to 44 words -really appreciate your
feedback on the poem itself
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