Perhaps seven will again be
Lucky but that October day
Electrifying in its impact,
I lost faith in numbers.
All the years I held you dear yet
Departure came without a wave.
Epitaphs are noble but words, myriad as
Stars cannot transmit how much you're missed
Merope our 'lost' sister.
Mystifying to human
Minds, her sudden evanesce.
Myths abound but we six know
Mizzle is her chosen cloak
Most modest maiden, even
Mirrors do not see her face
[Acrostic of Pleiades]
[The Pleiades Poetry Form]
My Poetics prompt looks up to the seven sister Pleiades on cosmic, mythic and/or numeric themes, written in acrostic and/or eponymous poetry forms: Stars that Count
45 thoughts on “Missing”
I love them both… the acrostic is so very personal, and
“Epitaphs are noble but words, myriad as
Stars cannot transmit how much you’re missed”
tells a lot.
I love how you used the Pleiades form to tell their own story.
thank you Björn – the number 7 very pertinent though I had not registered it whilst writing the prompt. Enjoyed doing both forms and a first time for me with the Pleiades form
I love both of your poems, Laura! The acrostic had my eyes brimming with tears, especially the final line. I also love that your Pleaides began with the ‘M’ from ‘Missing’ and made a lovely humming sound, especially in the alliterative ‘Mist modest maiden’.
many thanks Kim – managed to include some stars as well into that Acrostic – the rather lachrymose theme literally flooded out almost without warning. I can now hear the Pleiades humming 🙂
The acrostic is especially laudable! I like how it starts out vague and impersonal (“perhaps seven will again be / lucky”), but it quickly becomes personal and hard-hitting. Especially in such a short space, that’s impressive.
I really appreciate your feedback and can clearly see what you mean now – thank you
Haunting and captivating with grief. It is very powerful!
thank you Lucy – it is never that far away even after 2 years and hence (almost unexpectedly) popped up with the number 7 part of the prompt
I, too, wrote in both forms; an interesting prompt. I felt a bit star-crossed while endeavoring to stay within the prompt parameters. Your poems perfectly illustrate your prompt challenge.
many thanks Glenn – I too am not comfortable with the restrictions of form but I like the discipline – strict rhyme with meter is usually a step too far
Your use of alliteration really enhances the mystery of the missing Merope! Enchanting use of the form.
well its not a ‘Pleiades’ form without it but I added in more so thank you Ingrid
p.s. your comment went missing into the spam catcher so hence the delay in this reply
Don’t worry that happens to me all the time 🙄
I feel the ache of that unexpected departure, Laura.
many thanks as it’s hard to convey without sounding maudlin or mawkish so I tread lightly
You’re very welcome, Laura.
So skilfully done, Laura. You can’t see the seams. I mean that as a genuine compliment – these are quite artificial forms, and it’s hard to get them to flow as naturally as you have done here. I think the acrostic is my favourite (never thought I’d be saying that!) – it’s so heartfelt, and you’ve used the form and not been dictated to by it.
your words are so very encouraging Sarah and I like the notion of ‘seamless’ as it is the (unintentional) stiltedness of a theme’s seams we have to combat in order for a poem to flow. As I do struggle with the the regimentation of forms I encourage myself to face them, hence this challenge!!
Oh, yeah. Doublegooood. I prefer the acrostic, but…Doublegooood! Thanks for the prompt LB.
and double the thanks for your appreciation Ron
Both are excellent Laura.
Mizzle is her chosen cloak…I love that.
And your acrostic is heartbreaking. (K)
glad you picked that line – I like the sound of the word too
Beautiful expressions of sadness. Both pieces masterfully rendered.
I very much appreciate your appreciation Eugenia
The grief is palpable… as the sister is shy.
lovely – thank you Lynn
Very nice on both poems. Missing is a word a lot of folks will be feeling this Thanksgiving in the US. So many loved ones gone. Myriad words don’t quite fill the void.
thank you and yes Dwight its a feeling we are all having – here again in another of the UK’s (utter isolation) policy of lockdown. Living alone now makes missing loved ones even more acute
I can imagine that would be the situation. Take care and be safe!
Done beautifully on both forms Laura!
many thanks Hank
I enjoyed them both.
I agree with you about the artificiality of a forced first letter, but it is a challenge, and you rose to it. Even the personal acrostic poem isn’t hindered by the form.
thank you Jane – it looks so easy but that is the challenge I guess!
Trying to pretend that those are the words you would have chosen anyway.
Love both of these.
Words, like a myriad of stars, cannot express the grief. I like both of these poems….the first the best. I think this line can express the depth of grief for many this Thanksgiving day as they look at the empty chair of a loved one lost from Covid.
thanks Lilian – grief is always a touchstone and I think too of all the people who have died this year from all the other illnesses after not having got the diagnosis in time or the treatments they needed
Laura, I felt the impact of your loss in your acrostic form. I too experienced a significant loss recently. I too, looked at the numbers involved and tried to find answers there. Thanks for sharing
Sorry to hear this Deborah and so you fully understand – I hope you have friends and family to help you through
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