In the shadow of Spring

There's spring nearby, its telltale signs are there
Morning's mild and sooner breaks each morning
Beware old season's hold, sly frosts. Beware!
Warning growers, dogwood winter warning

While weather tos and fros, the light meanwhile
Behind the gilded east, tows shade behind.
Filed poplar trees in sway along the file
Winds running wild, a weathercock rewinds

Earth warms between the worm, some seeds unearth
Long fingered shadows pick the day along
Rebirth is now, the birds have built their berths
Singsong and chatter, all the world is song

Out dusky days, the dazzling snowdrop's out
About the woods. The year has turned about.

For my MTB Critique & Craft poetry prompt:some shadowy lines, we are writing a “shadow sonnet” (created by Amera M. Andersen) i.e. a sonnet rhyme and syllabic form with added first and last word repeats per line (derivatives and homophones permitted. Title and poem references shadow(s) too.

52 thoughts on “In the shadow of Spring

  1. Oh, yes, Laura, this does really flow nicely. I hardly noticed the shadow words, they were so well incorporated. it’s a fine piece of technical work, and I liked the unfolding of spring.

  2. Well THAT is taking everything to a new level! Superb, and in those lines a lot is being said…

    1. it was the repetition that appealed when I first came across this poetry form but shadowing is easier said than done, so I very much appreciate your feedback, even down to the fact that I somehow managed some internal rhyme

  3. You got it right, I think, managed to get a poem that sounds unforced. Last night, I didn’t think I was going to manage this. You set a difficult challenge!

    1. it’s reassuring that others found this challenging as being the host I almost thought I was not going to make it – or at least as you say, make it sound unforced

      1. No, it reads well. I still don’t think the use of the shadow word adds anything though. Except another constraint, and sonnets have quite enough of those already!

        1. I tend to regard the MTBs as writing exercises and in the end I found satisfaction in the achievement as well as learning quite a lot about sonnets, rhyme and word play which I usually avoid perhaps because I’m a natural rule breaker 😉

          1. I’m possibly missing the point, but it seems to me there’s already such a lot to ‘get right’ in a sonnet, the content, the development and resolution of the idea, the metre and the rhyme, that you have to be confident with all those aspects before being able to cope with an extra constraint. Maybe time for a crash course in sonnet-writing technique?

  4. Such a beautiful lyricism to your words and unforced rhyming and shadow words…flowing seamlessly!
    It was a great challenge and your sonnet showcases its beauty.

    1. as you can tell Kiki, I’ve been out in the garden, hewing and cutting out some woodland paths 😉
      (must write it up soon for my Japanese garden blog)

  5. I think you’ve written a lovely sonnet, as per your most difficult challenge!

    I have to say, I agree with Jane, I don’t think the “shadow” repeat necessarily adds anything constructive in the very limited 10 syllable structure of a sonnet, much less makes it any easier to write, but in your poem, it really does work efficiently and well, and doesn’t seem to detract from the content, the rich imagery you’ve painted. Your poem has a natural rhythm and so well done for your efforts.

    1. I rather liked the shadow repeats though it took me much effort to first get the syllables and rhymes of a sonnet going and then finding shadow words that made sense both ends of the poem – after much frustration, this shadow sonnet emerged so thank you for your appreciation

      1. It was a hard challenge, yes, but still, we shouldn’t turn away from difficult things. And although I’m not entirely convinced of the shadow repeat as a whole, I think many, including yourself, did a very good job with it, nonetheless – so all around, a definite “meet the bar” – and striving to work a bit harder, or think outside the comfort level box is not a bad thing.

  6. Such clever wordplay (winds–rewinds!) and the repetition elements are brilliant

  7. All the signs of spring evoked so flawlessly. A very excellent poem to go with the outstanding prompt – thank you for hosting. I love the depth of your challenges.

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