PoetryPix
depictions by the rule of thirds; descriptions mostly freestyle words
Belonging
“And it’s just a box of rain
I don’t know who put it there”
she mewed monotonously
that kitten – sated
seated at our feet
Grateful Dead playing
alongside her lost-and-found dirge
about a cardboard discard
outdoors, out of luck,
I left her in place of us
pitter-pattering feet
pitiless rain
packing one strong box
– all my earthly goods
Reliving Grateful Dead’s ‘box of rain’ track with De’s quadrille prompt: Thinkin’ inside the box – and since it’s somewhat belated, this one belongs in the Imaginary Garden too
23 Comments on “Belonging”
My Japanesque Garden
My Japanesque garden posts
- Hedging and EdgingsCutting the long boundary hedge down to size and turfing out a path in readiness
Nice last line.
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thanks Frank
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Love your word choices/sound here:
“sated
seated”
and again at “cardboard discard.”
Wonderful.
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love to take words out of the box and play with them! thank you for invoking the sixties with your prompt
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Love the alliteration in this verse and the onomatopoeic overture of those p-sounds. And “cardboard discard” creates a ruthlessly evocative feeling of being unwanted.
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Thank you for picking up so well on the intent of that phrase –
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Love this! I’m afraid I missed being a dead head, ‘though. Love the artwork, too.
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Those were heady days! thanks for you appreciation Charley
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Excellently written … but oh, I am all caught up in concern for that kitten!
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she had found her place!
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Fantastic wordplay in this one, Laura 💜 I love “cardboard discard.” 😊
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I have a word association dictionary in my head I think 😉 thank you
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I love that your use of alliteration makes me think of music–perfect choice for the poem’s motif, of course. The ending left me sighing…
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…and, perhaps, longing a bit.
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love your music box reference!
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I love the juxtaposition of a mewing kitten and the Grateful Dead, Laura. The cats we had previously never minded heavy music but Luna and Mojo leave the room! I also like the wordplay: sated/seated and cardboard discard; the alliteration in the final lines; and the image of moving out in the rain and leaving the kitten behind. It reminded me of two cats I had to leave behind when I moved from Germany to Ireland.
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thank you Kim! cats were cooler then…but now you can move around more easily with pet passports
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Love the word play and sounds of ‘P” specially pitiless rain ~
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quite a pitiful picture made the rain sound more pitiless – 😐
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All my earthly goods… What we have measured by the size and type of the box that holds it. Who we are defined by what we love, kittens and music. Good choice, beautiful piece. Both the rain and the feet pitter patter. Clever and purposeful.
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Always enjoy your insights Lona – many thanks
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Thank you Laura
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I enjoyed your poem, from inside the box!
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