It's dull dystopian clapped out rhythms for marching feet our chattering teeth protest unabridged, undammed some drip-dry dribblings of the explicit that careless drunk behind a post a dumb flea-bit dog lifting its leg defining free speech It belongs to the city grime and crime ennui and the fog of faith the disabled unburdening a poet's unbearable reality all bare truths, cold confusion as to how casual sex can be - only ugly shocks the new after the war took street fights to a bloody free for all It's the taste of flat champagne mediation in monotone some mindblown moulds, roulette and jazz for jagged nerves imagine escapism in reverse down, down with the gutter press up and away topping the high rise the astral plane's burning up tarmac but first let's call time time to beat the streets
For her Poetics prompt, Sanaa challenges us to write in the style of Allen Ginsberg and the Beat Generation
This is excellent. The delusions when we realize we brought the war back to the streets scream of PTSD which brings us down in the gutter… beating the streets.
and the streets to the war – beat picked an unedifying time for poetry
You absolutely nailed it!! This is fantastic writing, Laura. The opening line sets the mood and takes the reader along- giving a taste that is hard to forget. I especially resonate with; “All bare truths, cold confusion as to how causal sex can be – only ugly shocks the new after the war took street fights to a bloody free for all,” .. thank you so much for writing to the prompt 💜💜
I appreciate this Sanaa (and to you as host) as the words came tumbling through my dislike of beat poetry and I kept rewrites to barest minimum in case I overworked
I love the taste of flat champagne, and that city grime and crime part – you have captured the dull and stark dystopian city. Beautifully penned Laura.
many thanks Grace – I viewed the city like a city rat for this!
Your response can’t be beat, Laura! I love the alliteration, the ‘clapped out rhythms for marching feet’, the internal rhyme of ‘grime and crime’ – all of it!
what an uplifting comment Kim – I’m especially thankful for that
You’re more than welcome, Laura.
You’ve caught the flavor of it here, Laura.
–Shay
thank you Shay – was not easy to get into the feel of the Beat
There is nothing like free verse and this one lets rip…sorting out the sordid!
no other style would suit this – thank you
The chattering teeth protesting is an awesone grotesque image
Bravo!!!
Much❤love
interesting that you picked up on that one but thank you Gillena
I love how all the ugliness comes to “the taste of flat champagne” and then condenses to “imagine escapism in reverse.”
as always Maria – you’ve given some interesting insights into the poem
the beat and the alliteration give the blues to this piece. brilliant!
some very earthy blues – many thanks
Laura, you really channelled your distaste for beat poetry so skillfully to write this absolutely brilliant piece. Inspired, should I say!
lovely comment – inspired by distaste but yet so near to the truth of the matter!