It’s going on all the time water everywhere like the poem, a hymn From shallow overflows insects sip like cautious antelope, birds nest below deck something’s living in a toothpaste lid in Cuba no Perelandra these floating isles Out comes the plough now - refining the marshes where gardens struck one mirador with cursory views of long gone faces Perhaps it’s true that this side of remembering we met with cuckoos travelling out of Africa in a tangle of axons thoughts under take a memory test - my analyst sees a green light the right hemisphere, a pictorial phosphorescence but it was no waking fancy It is that dry, restless time of year a strange creation now with the labyrinth gone crucified to courtyard walls, trees proffer fruit on sunbaked limbs, a line defines the space underfoot herbs tumble in an aromatic haze I dispel just enough mystery Wishing is a well where want and will dismisses regimental rhyme Maybe and then perhaps not do I believe in free verse; nothing outlasts the annual treadmill Never a word of where to next
September is a 7 year blog anniversary (see photo post Seven) though I’ve only been posting poems for four of them. By way of a light-hearted celebration, I’ve created this muddled erasure poem from the first lines of each verse of these September poems:- (feel free to browse poems via the year links)
September 2015: Soiling Green; Aquarium; The City
September 2016: Houseboat; La Sierra del dragón; Small talk; There’s a wishing well; Darkling summer; Underworld
September 2017: As a bird; The lost park; The mercenary;
36 thoughts on “September rubbings”
I love the surreal undertones of this poem – and happy anniversary
those rubbings out often reveal the surreal – thank you Jaerose
Wow, creating a new poem from the first lines of your previous ones – that’s super creative, and I’m quite in awe of that!
I suppose because it was my lines it was easier though the hard part was keeping the lines apart – they kept wanting to re-unite in order! thank you Kiki
Yes, yes, yes. Happy anniversary, Laura, and a big salute for the cigarette abandonment (I know that giving up). This medley of rubbings is funny and weirdly wonderful, and mind-opening, and just all round fabulous in the full meaning of that particular word.
I discovered the word ‘mythopoeia’ this morning whilst reading about and listening to Dylan’s ‘Shelter from the storm’ – and your all round lovely comment seems to touch on that – mythopoeic without the saga! many thanks Tish for your good wishes too
That is one fabulous word. And I thank you for it. Dylan was a dab-hand with it too. Semblance of congruity that makes the mind go ‘PING!’ and you really don’t know precisely why, only that it’s joy-bringing.
It’s an erasure poem?! What was the original text,Laura? I love the opening stanza with its ‘hymn / From shallow overflows insects sip’ and the movement from the water everywhere to the ‘dry, restless time of year’ and the fruit trees ‘crucified to courtyard walls’.
thank you Kim – no it was not a saga to start with 😉 I put all the links to the originals in the bottom paragraph – the elemental contexts made me realise how often I include nature but then that is really my first love
I very much admire your ambition here Laura – with all you look at and explore here. An interesting read for sure and I will be back for more, I’m sure…
it was a spontaneous venture Scott and glad you enjoyed it – it put me back in touch with some past poems and that was worthwhile (also I realised my anthology is virtual so must do something about that -)
Indeed – a ‘dry restless time of year’ says it all. I really love the way you created this poem – I would never have guessed this to be an ‘erasure poem.’
perhaps I should say it is an erasures poem Mary – thanks for hosting the Sunday Pantry too
Such an intriguing verse — I love the myriad reflections here — the tangle of axons and no waking fancy suggest a visceral reality lived and experienced in its contours. There are many phrases and lines to love here but this is my favorite one: “Wishing is a well where want and will/dismisses regimental rhyme”.
thank you HA -it is a real tangle – like the brass rubblings on tombs where the details start to appear – hence the title
Yayyy happy anniversary, Laura ❤ this is exquisitely written and has so many breathtaking images especially love “a line defines the space underfoot herbs tumble in an aromatic haze..” 😊
many thanks Sanaa – you picked a romantic line 😉
This is a great way to celebrate… going back and see what’s been done. Sometimes I think we should all go back and dig for the gems of our past.
thanks Bjorn – It has been an eye opening exercise – in many ways I am no better/worse a poet than I was then but maybe a little less reluctant
Beautifully written, Laura, and congrats on seven years! We are so happy you found us at Poets United. Yay!
PP has done wonders for the confidence – thank you for all your support Sherry
Others have already commented on this, but it’s the first thing that struck me — how beautifully surreal this poem is. Congrats on seven years! 🙂
Thank you Robin – it combined in a way quite organically as I deliberately avoided over-structuring it – and thank you for your encouragement throughout
A wonderful piece and respect for what you did with the “style”.
Really appreciate your appreciation
It must have been a lot of fun to mine through those older pieces and see how to play with them in new ways. There is something whimsical in the way these came together, especially in the last verse.
a fresh look at the past – and easier than creating a fresh one – thanks Kestril
It is a wet restless season here with Hurricane Florence dumping water will nilly. I have seen prompts that as people to take lines from poems they like and to write a new one. I much prefer to use my own as then I do not feel like a thief. I really like what you did here with some of your previous lines. Excellent write.
I confess to liking those line prompts but now I tend to use them as reference rather than inclusion – plagiarising oneself works just fine!
It’s fascinating how much sense this appears to make, albeit mysterious too. If you hadn’t told me the lines were not originally written to be together, I’d never have guessed.
I guess I am a bit of a tangential poet so this poem is probably recognisable as mine first time round 😉
Very creative, enjoyed. I want to free the labyrinth. 🙂
an amazing poem!! So much imagery in my head!! I love “dispelling just enough mystery!”
Thank you -that line is like a Cybele moon!
aww!! you are inspiring!
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